tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8612733548814583822024-03-21T15:25:14.586-07:00MindlessChatterCapt'n Punc.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14784056658087850425noreply@blogger.comBlogger128125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-861273354881458382.post-41296450157651729642019-05-02T21:38:00.000-07:002019-05-02T21:38:48.497-07:00Golf<div class="OutlineElement Ltr BCX2 SCXO186930437" style="direction: ltr; margin-left: 0px;">
<div class="Paragraph SCXO186930437 BCX2" lang="EN-US" style="background-color: transparent; color: windowtext; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; text-align: left; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span class="TextRun SCXO186930437 BCX2" data-contrast="auto" lang="EN-US" style="color: windowtext; font-family: Calibri,Calibri_MSFontService,sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 18px;"><span class="NormalTextRun SCXO186930437 BCX2" style="background-color: inherit;">"So,
I need to learn golf." Those words started something. Apparently
getting a sales job requires one to learn golf so that one doesn't make a
fool of oneself whilst trying to make a sale on the course. </span></span><span class="EOP SCXO186930437 BCX2" style="font-family: Calibri,Calibri_MSFontService,sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 18px;"> </span></div>
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<div class="Paragraph SCXO186930437 BCX2" lang="EN-US" style="background-color: transparent; color: windowtext; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; text-align: left; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span class="TextRun SCXO186930437 BCX2" data-contrast="auto" lang="EN-US" style="color: windowtext; font-family: Calibri,Calibri_MSFontService,sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 18px;"><span class="NormalTextRun SCXO186930437 BCX2" style="background-color: inherit;">We started to meet early on Saturday mornings </span><span class="ContextualSpellingAndGrammarError SCXO186930437 BCX2" style="background-color: inherit;">a</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXO186930437 BCX2" style="background-color: inherit;">
the local public par 3 course designed for practice. Figuring that
practice on the small course would lead to less embarrassment on the
larger courses. This has proven somewhat true....but only just. More
on that later.</span></span><span class="EOP SCXO186930437 BCX2" style="font-family: Calibri,Calibri_MSFontService,sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 18px;"> </span></div>
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<div class="Paragraph SCXO186930437 BCX2" lang="EN-US" style="background-color: transparent; color: windowtext; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; text-align: left; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span class="TextRun SCXO186930437 BCX2" data-contrast="auto" lang="EN-US" style="color: windowtext; font-family: Calibri,Calibri_MSFontService,sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 18px;"><span class="NormalTextRun SCXO186930437 BCX2" style="background-color: inherit;">Grocery
store visits included popping into the Goodwill store to see if I could
find anything useful and well within by limited allowed budget. My bag
started to fill with a random assortment of $3 clubs allowing me to
test different styles on the cheap. I eventually found an almost
complete set of wedges and a new-to-me bag that finally allowed me to
feel like I wasn't borrowing my child's clubs. </span></span><span class="EOP SCXO186930437 BCX2" style="font-family: Calibri,Calibri_MSFontService,sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 18px;"> </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<div class="Paragraph SCXO186930437 BCX2" lang="EN-US" style="background-color: transparent; color: windowtext; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; text-align: left; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span class="TextRun SCXO186930437 BCX2" data-contrast="auto" lang="EN-US" style="color: windowtext; font-family: Calibri,Calibri_MSFontService,sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 18px;"><span class="NormalTextRun SCXO186930437 BCX2" style="background-color: inherit;">Since
we started playing I've bought various secondhand clubs, built a
backyard chipping game to practice, bought recycled balls off Amazon,
acquired at least two clubs that </span><span class="SpellingError SCXO186930437 BCX2" style="background-color: inherit;">Bibliowife</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXO186930437 BCX2" style="background-color: inherit;">
doesn't know about, skipped out of work early for a quick 9, and lookup
way too many YouTube videos on how to chip, drive, properly take a
divot, and regrip clubs. You could say that I've been bitten by the
golf bug. </span></span><span class="TextRun SCXO186930437 BCX2" data-contrast="auto" lang="EN-US" style="color: windowtext; font-family: Calibri,Calibri_MSFontService,sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 18px;"><span class="NormalTextRun SCXO186930437 BCX2" style="background-color: inherit;">I've only been on the big boy courses twice and I'm eager for the next round. </span></span><span class="EOP SCXO186930437 BCX2" style="font-family: Calibri,Calibri_MSFontService,sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 18px;"> </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<div class="Paragraph SCXO186930437 BCX2" lang="EN-US" style="background-color: transparent; color: windowtext; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; text-align: left; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span class="TextRun SCXO186930437 BCX2" data-contrast="auto" lang="EN-US" style="color: windowtext; font-family: Calibri,Calibri_MSFontService,sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 18px;"><span class="NormalTextRun SCXO186930437 BCX2" style="background-color: inherit;">Today,
Bibliokid2 and I played a local par 3ish 18 hole executive course.
This course was a lot different than the learning course I was used to.
Had to hit over the water, uphill, narrow fairways, and challenging
greens. Not the most well maintained course but I loved it. Got to
spend time with the boy and launch a ball into air not knowing where it
will end up, or if we will even find it...</span></span><span class="EOP SCXO186930437 BCX2" style="font-family: Calibri,Calibri_MSFontService,sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 18px;"> </span></div>
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<div class="Paragraph SCXO186930437 BCX2" lang="EN-US" style="background-color: transparent; color: windowtext; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; text-align: left; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span class="TextRun SCXO186930437 BCX2" data-contrast="auto" lang="EN-US" style="color: windowtext; font-family: Calibri,Calibri_MSFontService,sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 18px;"><span class="NormalTextRun SCXO186930437 BCX2" style="background-color: inherit;">This
kid can't hit the ball straight to save his life, until we were joined
by another golfer. This gentleman saw the boy swing once and just made
one suggestion. The kid then proceeds to hit the straightest drive
directly onto the green. Keep in mind that I made the exact same
suggestion moments before but I guess I was speaking a different
language. </span></span><span class="EOP SCXO186930437 BCX2" style="font-family: Calibri,Calibri_MSFontService,sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 18px;"> </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<div class="Paragraph SCXO186930437 BCX2" lang="EN-US" style="background-color: transparent; color: windowtext; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; text-align: left; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span class="TextRun SCXO186930437 BCX2" data-contrast="auto" lang="EN-US" style="color: windowtext; font-family: Calibri,Calibri_MSFontService,sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 18px;"><span class="NormalTextRun SCXO186930437 BCX2" style="background-color: inherit;">I
performed fairly well except for the holes where I had to use my
driver. Topped the first one and thoroughly entertained the kid on the
second. The longest hole on this course is a par 4 with a very narrow
fairway and the edge of the course on the left hand side. I line up,
swing confidently, and send the ball directly into the tree on the right
about 40 yards down the fairway. Being the consummate professionals
that we are, I tee up a second ball. This time I swing with less force
and an adjusted aim. The club strikes the ball solid and flies off the
club face with gusto, right into the tree on the right 60 yards down the
fairway bouncing back to stop within 4 feet of the first ball.
Bibliokid2 found this to be the funniest thing he has seen all month and
felt obligated to make all manner of comments about my apparent skill,
never mind that fact that he had just hit two balls WIDE left out of
bounds....out of the course and into the transmission towers that lined
the property. </span></span><span class="EOP SCXO186930437 BCX2" style="font-family: Calibri,Calibri_MSFontService,sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 18px;"> </span></div>
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<div class="Paragraph SCXO186930437 BCX2" lang="EN-US" style="background-color: transparent; color: windowtext; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; text-align: left; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span class="TextRun SCXO186930437 BCX2" data-contrast="auto" lang="EN-US" style="color: windowtext; font-family: Calibri,Calibri_MSFontService,sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 18px;"><span class="NormalTextRun SCXO186930437 BCX2" style="background-color: inherit;">Looking forward to the next opportunity to play a full size course and work on hitting my driver straight...</span><span class="SpellingError SCXO186930437 BCX2" style="background-color: inherit;">ish</span><span class="NormalTextRun SCXO186930437 BCX2" style="background-color: inherit;">. Might take the kid with me, if he can keep his comments to himself.</span></span><span class="EOP SCXO186930437 BCX2" style="font-family: Calibri,Calibri_MSFontService,sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 18px;"> </span></div>
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<span class="EOP SCXO186930437 BCX2" style="font-family: Calibri,Calibri_MSFontService,sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></div>
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<span class="EOP SCXO186930437 BCX2" style="font-family: Calibri,Calibri_MSFontService,sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 18px;">~Bibliotender</span></div>
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Bibliotenderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03925888681108092451noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-861273354881458382.post-71883460159382729322017-12-28T15:43:00.004-08:002017-12-28T15:43:48.423-08:00Stopped PostingI think I understand why we stopped posting to this blog. After dad passed, and I moved back to California, I think it made sense that we saw each other nearly every Saturday and we told our stories in person.<br />
<br />
Now, the Cap'N and I live basically one minute from one another, walking, and Biblio is merely twenty minutes away. We hardly ever get together, and we really don't talk all that much.<br />
<br />
I miss it..<br />
<br />
That being said, I really want to talk about my bachelor party...<br />
<br />
I don't want strippers. Let me get that out of the way. Some of my friends think that Funnel Kake doesn't want me to have them and so I am shying away from it. NO! I really don't care to go to strip clubs, it does nothing for me. I think it is because I have such bad night vision and those places are dark.<br />
<br />
Honestly, I have had a lot of people want me to do some super involved extravagantly planned evening, when all I really want is for a bunch of my friends to hang out. So, I have decided that we can all get some food and drinks, have one of my sober buddies drive everyone around in a rented 15 passenger van, and then go get some more drinks and possibly find a place to play pool or something later.. or darts, darts sounds fun. This seems like a good day to me, am I off base here?<br />
<br />
-FCJFCJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00183136519405554120noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-861273354881458382.post-1212840525549377192016-12-29T16:43:00.000-08:002016-12-29T16:43:24.312-08:00Things J and I have talked about...
<br />
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
First let me
apologize preemptively, J is a really nice guy, he means well, and past
injuries combined with medical issues may have led to the current situation. Be
that as it may, talking to him can be a bit of a challenge.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
In a single
conversation, he was somehow able to include:</div>
<ul style="direction: ltr; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .375in; margin-top: 0in; unicode-bidi: embed;" type="disc">
<li style="margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 0; vertical-align: middle;"><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt;">Flying cars and why can we
have them</span></li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 0; vertical-align: middle;"><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt;">Chinese cup therapy</span></li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 0; vertical-align: middle;"><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt;">Ooo look at that explosion
(news)</span></li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 0; vertical-align: middle;"><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt;">Walking from elementary
school to middle school</span></li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 0; vertical-align: middle;"><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt;">Why can't they convert cars
to use veg oil or natural gas, he knew a guy who had a car like that, it
didn't make any pollution</span></li>
</ul>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
I've collected a few
tidbits over the past couple of months.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Most of these are taken out of context, but to be fair most were never
in context to begin with.</div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<ul style="direction: ltr; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .375in; margin-top: 0in; unicode-bidi: embed;" type="disc">
<li style="margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 0; vertical-align: middle;"><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt;">Pointing at the tv:
"what did they do? Put it on pets?"</span></li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 0; vertical-align: middle;"><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt;">"I had chicken pox a
bunch of times… then my family got a nice Mexican family and they had
small pox…."</span></li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 0; vertical-align: middle;"><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt;">"I had the same suit as
Elvis the pelvis. My collar was to here, my was was here… it was
black" (yes he did say 'was' twice)</span></li>
<ul style="direction: ltr; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .375in; margin-top: 0in; unicode-bidi: embed;" type="circle">
<li style="margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 0; vertical-align: middle;"><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt;">He knew the step to rock a
robin…</span></li>
</ul>
<li style="margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 0; vertical-align: middle;"><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt;">"My dad stoled my thing…
my important thing"</span></li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 0; vertical-align: middle;"><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt;">"The guys went bwhuhuh
beepbeepbeep then didn't call back"</span></li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 0; vertical-align: middle;"><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt;">"I ran track, I played
tennis, I won trophies, I played little league baseball and pop Warner. I
played basketball, I was too short I came on and there were tall guys, I
didn't like it but I made the shots."</span></li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 0; vertical-align: middle;"><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt;">"He made one on a muffin
buy I don't remember"</span></li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 0; vertical-align: middle;"><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt;">"I boxed when I was
young so I'm wheeeewheeee… sounds you like some flowers?"</span></li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 0; vertical-align: middle;"><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt;">"I sniffed the air
because I couldn't hear.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I better
be careful of you'll singe my hairs"</span></li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 0; vertical-align: middle;"><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt;">"I used to like hockey,
before the built up the things"</span></li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 0; vertical-align: middle;"><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt;">"I thought he was
nurtured the way he talked…"</span></li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 0; vertical-align: middle;"><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt;">Long conversation about how
he meet a wrestler, got knocked 5 rows back, then he offered him beer but
liked it in his shoes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then Hulk
Hogan put him back in his seat.</span></li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 0; vertical-align: middle;"><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt;">"You know movies today,
they can play two parts flipping and a fighting… you know the would fight
with clothes on..Elvis had clothes and he wore them but it was two
people"</span></li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 0; vertical-align: middle;"><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt;">"Mi casa su casa….that's
about as far as I can go in Spanish"</span></li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 0; vertical-align: middle;"><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt;">His professional knife
throwing days</span></li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 0; vertical-align: middle;"><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt;">"From the time he got
struck by lightning, then the doctors wanted to put him on meds, but the
got died, then the guy with the 5' 4" but a marine and I saw a 57 or
a 59 so that's all I worried about." (We think the lightning bit may
be true)</span></li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 0; vertical-align: middle;"><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt;">About the time he got into a
fight with a guy and accidentally drive a pitch fork through the guy but
"they swept it under the rug"</span></li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 0; vertical-align: middle;"><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt;">How he made his own thousand
island dressing that everyone in the restaurant wanted over their own
orders. I think he was claiming to invent thousand island dressing.</span></li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 0; vertical-align: middle;"><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt;">His grandma had 150 Indian
kids and didn't accept welfare</span></li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 0; vertical-align: middle;"><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt;">Played little league for the
World Series in Mexico</span></li>
<ul style="direction: ltr; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .375in; margin-top: 0in; unicode-bidi: embed;" type="circle">
<li style="margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 0; vertical-align: middle;"><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt;">"I won a world series
ring but I lost it"</span></li>
</ul>
<li style="margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 0; vertical-align: middle;"><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt;">His brother had a dog that
bit his alarm clock, broke his teeth</span></li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 0; vertical-align: middle;"><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt;">"I don't want to eat
bugs on my corn, it's like a happy motorcycle driver…."</span></li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 0; vertical-align: middle;"><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt;">Described a story that was
suspiciously like the knoif scene in Crocodile Dundee</span></li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 0; vertical-align: middle;"><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt;">Got paid $1,000 for being an
extra on a kids TV show for one day of work</span></li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 0; vertical-align: middle;"><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt;">His grandpa shot Hitler in
the arm during WW1</span></li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 0; vertical-align: middle;"><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt;">His dad was an extra in gone
with the wind and movies with Abbot and Costello</span></li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 0; vertical-align: middle;"><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt;">Clark gable broke his dad's
foot</span></li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 0; vertical-align: middle;"><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt;">"You know those really
big guys...the Dutch "</span></li>
<ul style="direction: ltr; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .375in; margin-top: 0in; unicode-bidi: embed;" type="circle">
<li style="margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 0; vertical-align: middle;"><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt;">Witnessed a fight between
two Dutch guys,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>one threw a pool
table at the other</span></li>
</ul>
<li style="margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 0; vertical-align: middle;"><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt;">"If you aim a radar gun
at a tree, it reads 6mph because the earth is spinning"</span></li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 0; vertical-align: middle;"><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt;">His dad knew Marilyn Monroe
and knew that one of the Kennedy's got her pregnant. </span></li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 0; vertical-align: middle;"><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt;">He's claimed that his great
grandfather was Sitting Bull and that he was 1/16th Cherokee.</span></li>
</ul>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
Each time we meet, I
make it a point to try and encourage his stories just to see what he will say
next.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Again, he is a great guy and is
always smiling and laughing but it's getting more and more difficult to tell which
"fact" actually happened and which ones he saw on late night TV.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
~Bibliotender</div>
Bibliotenderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03925888681108092451noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-861273354881458382.post-27868701023610470532016-02-09T23:24:00.003-08:002016-02-09T23:24:40.221-08:00Music Evolution
<br />
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
My first CD was a an
album by Salt-N-Pepa , which I've never learned how to spell properly until
now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My second CD was some single by an
R&B artists that the girl I fancied at the time was into.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Eventually my cousin turned me onto the scam
that was <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Columbia_House">Columbia House</a>
mail order CDs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I immediately signed up
for the free CDs that my cousin recommended to me and signed my soul over to
Columbia House.</div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
My collection
quickly grew to include Pink Floyd, Metallica, Primus, Pearl Jam, Stone Temple
Pilots, Soundgarden, and many others.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
have a very distinct memory of my cousin telling me that I needed to listed to
this new album that was destined to be huge and he "knew about it"
before anybody else.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That album was <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Temple_of_the_Dog">Temple of the Dog</a>.
Keep in mind that this was pre internet days ; the only way to hear about music
was to listen to the radio or take advice from friends and buy the albums.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sometimes it worked and sometimes you were
left with a CD that was destined to become a coaster.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
In high school I was
an avid consumer of anything that Alice in Chains produced but once I started
driving I needed something faster. That's when I learned about Rage Against the
Machine and Metallica's earlier albums.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Sure I stayed in the mainstream for the most part but I was enjoying
what I could find.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wasn't one to
listen to the radio too much, too many commercials and repeat songs, so I
borrowed and copied as many CDs as possible . </div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
Looking back, I
notice that I tended to listed to music that got my blood boiling and amped me
up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Rage Against the Machine, Metallica,
STP, and Primus really helped fuel my energy levels but I still had a soft spot
for some acoustic tracks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I'm sure my
brothers both have vivid memories of waking up to Rage blasting through the
vents connecting our bedrooms. As I get older, I tend to lean more towards the
acoustic versions of the songs that I enjoy or, even better, my favorite band
doing acoustic renditions of their songs (or covers).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>MTV's unplugged series has a lot of flaws and
criticism about commercialism and selling out but damn if it doesn't deliver
some amazing versions of songs that I constantly listen to.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
As I type this, I'm
listening to Nirvana's cover of <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gOZKz_sPM6U">"Where did you sleep
last night"</a> and I get shivers every time I hear Curt's voice
crack.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Clapton's <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xGavzOvTMjY">classic album</a> is the
golden standard for acoustic renditions. STP and Alice in Chains unplugged
concerts have had a constant presence on my playlist ever since their
release.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I'm not sure if my tastes have
changed to favor acoustic performances or if I've just gotten old.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It's not just songs from my past toned down,
I've come to love <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vsvlsuLau5c">any</a>
acoustic version of a song that is done well. </div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
Whisky ran out….post
over….</div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
~bibliotender</div>
Bibliotenderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03925888681108092451noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-861273354881458382.post-34849288547829264902015-04-11T22:48:00.001-07:002015-04-11T22:48:27.750-07:00Tiny, but Fierce<div style="border-width: 100%; direction: ltr;">
<div style="direction: ltr; margin-left: 0in; margin-top: 0in; width: 6.109in;">
<div style="direction: ltr; margin-left: 0in; margin-top: 0in; width: 6.109in;">
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
Once upon a time,
not long ago, someone suggested a new audiobook. I had just finished a series and was looking
for something to fill the void. I
…ahem….acquired…..Storm Front and thus began my journey with Harry
Dresden. </div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
I was immediately
hooked. The combination of pop culture
references, film noir, detective work, and witty inner monolog kept me laughing
and turning pages. I couldn't just listen
to the audiobook, I was too impatient. I
would spend my hour long commute listening to James Marsters become Harry and
then I would pick up the physical book when I got home to continue the story. The second book followed in similar fashion
as did the third. At the time there were
13 books available so I had plenty of material to get through. </div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
Around book 5 I
mentioned the series to Capt. Punc and FunnelBoy but they were either not ready
to start a new series or my description didn't do the story justice. People have asked me to describe the story to
them and I always fall short. "It's
about Chicago's only practicing wizard.
No, it's not like Harry Potter.
Yes, he does us magic but it's …more natural? I don't really know…He's actually a private
eye…..Just read the damn thing."
And they would never pick up the book.
I would find myself bursting at the seams trying to discuss the story
and the potential plot twists but I couldn't find anybody who could share my
excitement. </div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
By the time I had
exhausted all the available books and was waiting "patiently" for the
next one, Capt. Punc finally picked up book one. And book 2 and 3. He was hooked just as bad as I was and now we
could talk about it. We would sit at the
bar and laugh at the references made, discuss the potential outcome of Harry's
actions, and I would carefully not give away any spoilers (ok, I gave one
fairly big one away but he already guessed who done it). I had to constantly remind myself that he
hadn't read book 6 yet so he didn't know that X was going to become Y and that
Z wasn't really human. Then FunnelBoy
started the series and I had to keep track of two spoiler points. We had some really bizarre conversations
around the whiskey glasses. </div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
Eventually they both
caught up to me and we were all waiting "patiently" for the next book
to be released and we would frequently lace our conversations with quotes. "Tiny, but fierce." became a popular reference for any short
fiery lady that we conversed with. We
would frequently mention that polka would never die and wish that we would have
the privilege of partnering with a wooly chammoth. Many strange looks were tossed our way and we
found ourselves trying to explain our comments to other bar patrons with little
success. Capt. and Funnel Boy were
having the same problems describing the books that I had. </div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
Then the inevitable
happened, we expanded our conspirator base.
I talked a coworker into listening to the first audio book, took him
less than 5 months to get through 14 books.
I gave the audiobooks to a friend that has a considerable commute and he
has been loving this series just as much as we three. I would get frequent text messages with
comments like "WTF! X is crazy!
That attack on Y was amazing. I almost lost it when Z." Again I
would find myself going to the spoiler list and referencing where they were in
each book so that I didn't ruin the experience for them. BiblioKid2 just started the series and got mad at me because book 3 is stuck in the mail. He finished 2 books in a couple weeks.</div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
We had an
interesting conversation tonight. FoeHammer stated that he just finished a book
that had some pivotal plot developments and he was understandably excited with
the new introductions and directions that the characters had open to them.
Capt. and I shared our thoughts with him and tried to be conscious of spoilers
at the same time. We were just as
excited as he was but something was missing. He didn't make any references to
the most important plot twist, his assumptions of the next book didn't jive
with the end of the previous. Capt. and
I traded a glance and asked:<br />
</div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
B: Did you finish
the book?</div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
F: Yea, Harry was on
the boat and now he has to wait for …</div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
B: What was the last
thing that happened?</div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
F: …I don't
remember. Harry was just waiting.</div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
C: ##choking noises
with excited squee##</div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
B: I think you
missed the last 5 minutes. </div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
F: What do you mean?</div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
B: The last 5
minutes of the audiobook change everything.
You need go back and listen. Trust me.</div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
We couldn't really
speculate anymore after that. We clammed
up. </div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
Damn I love this
series. Butcher needs to hurry up and
provide the next book. </div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
~bibliotender</div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Bibliotenderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03925888681108092451noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-861273354881458382.post-26673675608545045372015-02-13T16:24:00.000-08:002015-02-13T16:24:07.429-08:00BINGO!<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
People watching is a
great way to pass the time by yourself or with a group where everyone gets to silently or judge people based on their
appearance. Occasionally alcohol is involved
and the judging can get loud…..and funny.
I noticed that we would frequently see the same thing over and over
again. We were more likely to see
different patterns depending on the venue.
Disneyland, for example, always had a couple of Goths running around;
there was always some kid being forced onto a ride when they were clearly
terrified; and my favorite, there was always a group flag (generally held by an
Asian guy). Sure, stereotypes were
reinforced and we are definitely horrible people for pointing and laughing but hey,
it's entertaining.</div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
Naturally we needed
to make a game out of it. Being the
nerdy geek that I am, I felt compelled to create tool that would allow me to
easily randomize the bingo squares and quickly switch between topics. One night at the computer and a bottle of wine produced <a href="https://sites.google.com/site/bensmindlesschatter/Bingo.xlsm" target="_blank">this</a>.</div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
Happy hunting!</div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
~Bibliotender</div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
Bibliotenderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03925888681108092451noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-861273354881458382.post-55581377805115243172014-07-24T15:28:00.002-07:002014-07-24T15:28:25.549-07:00Comic Strips<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
Many years ago in a
cubicle far, far away, sits a bored analyst. He has finished his work
early but chose not to tell anyone lest more work is assigned, plus he told
them it would take a week longer than actually necessary. The only thing
keeping our hero's eyes open is the irresistible need to click the
"next" button. </div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
</div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
Let me
explain. </div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
I would often find
myself in a position where I would have to look busy instead of actually being
busy. Part of this was laziness and another part was playing the long
game with management. If I were to let them know that their request only
took 10 minutes, instead of the 2 days that I told them it would take, I would
just end up with more work and shorter deadlines. So I had two options:
ask for more work or keep myself busy until I felt that enough time had
passed. Eventually I found webcomics. </div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
The first one I
found that really caught my interest was <a href="http://userfriendly.org/">UserFriendly</a>
where I got to read about a friendly little dust puppy, aptly named Dust Puppy,
play Quake and help the IT staff install windows 98. Then I found <a href="http://www.sluggy.com/">Sluggy comics</a>, <a href="http://pvponline.com/">PVP</a>,
<a href="http://www.sinfest.net/">Sinfest</a>, and <a href="http://xkcd.com/">many</a>,
many more. Even a few that …..I shouldn't have accessed from my work
computer. </div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
Inevitably I
migrated back to the comics I truly hold dear.
The Sunday morning comics that arrive on my doorstep each week. Comics that have been around for many years
along side some new ones that are still struggling to find a voice. Garfield, B.C.,Zits, Peanuts, The Far Side,
and my personal favorite : Calvin and Hobbes.</div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
There are many sites
and articles that go into great detail about Bill Watterson and his copyright
struggles, the Sunday morning format battles, and his utter refusal to
commercialize any of his characters. I
have a few of his book around the house and even got the Biblio kids hooked
onto Calvin's shenanigans. There are a
few <a href="http://zenpencils.com/comic/128-bill-watterson-a-cartoonists-advice/">tribute</a>
<a href="http://www.pantsareoverrated.com/page/2/?s=hobbes">strips</a> out
there in the same style that I 've come to enjoy quite a bit as well. </div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
</div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
~Bibliotender</div>
Bibliotenderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03925888681108092451noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-861273354881458382.post-17618810069668441582014-07-02T20:07:00.001-07:002014-07-02T20:09:15.693-07:00I smell....I smell...Peetree<div>Sometimes I forget that small generational gaps between two individuals can lead to totally different childhood experiences. Sure there are cultural and economic differences but some experiences are fairly universal during childhood. Kids movies fore example; most people my age got to experience the same 80's animation that I was exposed to and we can bond over favorite scenes or quotes.</div><div><br></div><div>My coworker (Princess McFuzzy Britches*) showed me a pictures of a rock formation, presumably something that she wants to climb. My first response was: "That looks like Little Foot's mom". To which see replied "…." The following exchange then took place:</div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div>Me: Littlefoot?</div><div>R: …</div><div>Me: Tree stars?</div><div>R: Um….</div><div>Me: You're telling me that you have never heard of The Land Before Time?</div><div>R: What year did it come out?</div><div>Me: '88ish</div><div>R: Ah, I was going to concerts during that time.</div><div>Me: But that means that you never got to experience the sadness that this movie generated.</div><div>R: Isn't it a kids movie?</div><div>Me: Yes…it had happy moments as well. What about An American Tail?</div><div>R: …</div><div>Me: Fievel?</div><div>R: Now you are making this up.</div><div>Me: You've never heard the tear jerker of a song "Somewhere Out There" and the rousing attack of the Giant Mouse of Minsk that chased all the cats off he pier?</div><div>R: The giant what?</div><div>Me: Did you see any movies in the late 80's - early 90's?</div><div>R: Not very many. I was out partying while you babies sat in front of the television.</div><div>Me: What about The Chipmunk Adventure? Songs like "I, Yi, Yi, Yi, Yi like you very much" should have landed on your radar. It was easily one of the best songs to come out of the 80's.</div><div>R:…</div><div><br></div><div>To make matters worse, she somehow missed most of the family movies that were prominent during my childhood; with the exception of Molly Ringwald movies. Go figure. It saddens me that this mother of two will never experience the adventure of a hot air balloon race around the world; never understand humiliation of the truffle shuffle; the joy at learning that someone is only mostly dead; never share in the exhilaration of riding a luck dragon; the sadness of losing your mother to a Sharptooth attack; the fear of an appliance left behind, destined for the car crusher; the utter betrayal of Hoggle or the package of Bowie.</div><div><br></div><div>*It's worth noting that the Princess has been trying to give herself the nickname O'ren Ichi thus violating rule # 5 of of the friendship code: thou shalt not give thy self a moniker; one shall be bestowed upon thee. </div><div><br></div>Bibliotenderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03925888681108092451noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-861273354881458382.post-82660100519894966282014-05-15T17:39:00.000-07:002014-05-15T17:39:48.936-07:00Common Core Math<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
So, I have been doing a bit of research on Common Core Math
and how upset people are getting at the idea of changing the way that these
kids are being taught basic mathematics. I will admit, I watched a couple of
videos of people opposed to 'common core' ideas and was leaning to their
viewpoint, until I realized that they were teaching kids to do math the way I
have always done it: simplify the problem.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="http://www.ijreview.com/2014/05/137962-common-core-approach-solving-basic-math-problem-doesnt-confuse-congrats/">Common Core Math Explained Horribly..</a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The example that is given, in the video I watched, is a
slightly confusing way to obtain an answer for a basic math problem. They take
a problem like 32-20=x and, without explaining the steps involved and what the
steps involved are asking you to do, they come up with an answer like this:</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
12+3=15</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
15+5=20</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
20+10=30</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
30+2=32</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And then, instead of telling you why, or making clear the
principle behind the numbers, they simply tell you to take the middle row and
add them up. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So:</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
3 + 5=8 +10=18 +2=20</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And, low and behold, there is your answer: 20.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This seems so complicated when explained, or not explained,
the way they did. There is no wonder that parents, with nothing but viral
videos to learn from, are so opposed to it. What they are really teaching these
kids is that they need to identify that there is a difference between these
numbers and they are finding simpler solutions to help them find why they are
doing the steps they are doing.</div>
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We are subtracting 12 from 32, so we know that we need to
find the difference between the two numbers.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Take the first step: 12+3=15<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>. ... .. why did we start here? Honestly this is meant to bring people
to numbers that are easier to deal with, simplifying their thought process.
Personally, I would have started with 12+8.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So 12+3=15, add 5 more to get to 20 (another easy number to
work with, add 10 more to get to 30, and then add the remaining two. In my
mind, I would have thought it out as 8+10+2, doing these steps in my head.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The reason for the grid is to give kids a way of organizing
their thoughts and making it easier to write on paper.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If you don't think you do this, take the question 15*5=x.
You could put it on a multiplication table, <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>bring your numbers down, and get the right
answer, but it didn't teach you why you were doing it. In my mind I would
simplify this and say 5*5=25 <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>10*5=50<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>25+50=75. A quick process in
my head, but I surely don't build a multiplication table unless absolutely
necessary. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Keep in mind this is the basic math stuffs, I have not
looked into the more complex, nor have I looked into any other subjects.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Thoughts?<br />
<br />
-FCJ </div>
FCJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00183136519405554120noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-861273354881458382.post-83110363365638458232014-01-22T00:22:00.001-08:002014-01-22T00:22:13.344-08:00Disney Fanboy<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
I have come to
realize that I am a Disney fanboy. I love the history behind Disney, the parks,
the movies, the innovation, and the music.
Sure, I'm an "adult" male over 30 who uses his kids as an
excuse to go see the latest Disney flick in the theater but I take no shame in
admitting that I love just about every major release. The storylines can be cliché, predictable,
and according to some carry questionable themes but I still enjoy the
ride. </div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
I've even gotten to
the point where I watch a movie just for to hear the music. This habit is great on long car trip where I
don't need the visuals to experience the movie.
I just let it play and let my mind fill in the visuals based on the
audio alone. Recently I've been hooked
on the soundtrack to Frozen and have been walking around the house singing
"Do you want to build a snowman?" Much to my wife's chagrin. </div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
I've been known to
look for covers of various songs just to see what I can find. So I get all
giddy when I stumble upon a crowded bar drunkenly singing the background lines
to <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BUhUloA74Ak">"A Whole New World</a>"
or a little girl singing <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6jUG1PfmmTA">"Let
it Go"</a> to the best of her ability.
But so far my all time favorite is <a href="http://youtu.be/AJzds6fRfjM">this</a>
glorious masterpiece.</div>
Bibliotenderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03925888681108092451noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-861273354881458382.post-6885824416817958472013-12-30T18:35:00.000-08:002013-12-30T18:35:33.413-08:00Payback...<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
There is a new-ish
addition to some theme park rides that takes the boredom away from sitting a
ride out. The large raft rides that are popular at many theme parks are now
accompanied by <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sPg2natw-d4" target="_blank">water cannons</a> strategically placed along the raft route. Now the younger sibling that are on the
smaller side of tiny have the ability to get in on the action without the need
to meet the height requirement, soaking the unsuspecting riders with a blast of
chilly water; all for the price of a single quarter. More often than not, parents are found at
these lovely machines eagerly waiting to dish out some payback. I've sat back and watched a few of these over
eager parents and they all have the same first experience. </div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
Gleefully jamming a
quarter into the water cannon, hands hovering over the button, eyes straining
to get a glimpse of the telltale black hoodie indicating that my child is in
the boat that just plummeted down the ramp, frustration felt after the realization
that the boat is full of screaming poncho laden girls instead of the smelly
boys that we are so "patiently" waiting for, the giddy excitement of
recognition, the tense anticipation as they approach the designated soak zone,
the loving greeting that is called out to the boat in a disarming manner
drawing their attention away from the track ahead, the look on their faces as
they recognize that their parents are standing near the water cannon, the
oh-so-sweet malicious joy that surges through our body as we mash down on the
trigger button sending a column of water directly at the boat, the screams of
shock as the cold water assaults their senses, and that final satisfying laugh
as they exit the ride completely soaked yet somehow still smiling.</div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
Having already
experienced this money making miracle myself, I let some first timers have a go
at the cannon. This parent must have
been a regular at the arcade during her youth because I don't think I have ever
seen anyone jam quarters into the slot with that much speed and precision. She mashed the button in glee, whooped in
excitement, and realized that they were
still within range and then whipped a second quarter in the slot and mashed the
button again with twinkly in her eye. I
can only imagine her thoughts: "That's for not cleaning up your room! And
that's for jumping on the bed!"</div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
That experience was
almost worth the $5 drying station that are so cleverly placed at the
exit…..almost.</div>
Bibliotenderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03925888681108092451noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-861273354881458382.post-35873626832868984432013-12-11T21:57:00.000-08:002014-01-22T00:22:50.701-08:00....wiping tears awayI often find my self at the computer late at night, unable to sleep wandering thought the endless corners of the internet. Now it may be the number of martinis consumed but I found <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/TrollXChromosomes/comments/1so08o/on_the_dick_like/" target="_blank">this</a> incredibly amusing. So much so, that I just about fell out my seat laughing. Inappropriate? Yes. Funny? Yes. Safe for work? Yes as Long as you don't try to explain it....Bibliotenderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03925888681108092451noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-861273354881458382.post-36178865512715617202013-10-03T20:43:00.001-07:002013-10-05T21:04:57.599-07:00DecimateAs most internet hours ultimately conclude, I am lost. Google, Wikipedia, an occasional glance at an online thesaurus or dictionary, forums, blogs, Wiki again, 'googling' a wiki link talking about a blog, back to a dictionary or thesaurus, etc. has often made me upset at the world and the general misuse of seemingly generic words.<br />
<br />
I do not pretend to be some great smithy of words but I do believe that we need to start correcting people on the small stuff. I understand how, in a world full of short communications, text messages, and character limitations, be it Twitter or moral quality, we can lose meaning and miss inflection of simple phrases, but our childrens' children will suffer, or at least we will suffer having to listen to them.<br />
<br />
This is what started it today:<br />
<a href="http://xkcd.com/1272/">http://xkcd.com/1272/</a><br />
<br />
What I ended up finding was definitely in my wheelhouse:<br />
<br />
<a href="http://thoughtcatalog.com/2013/22-everyday-words-you-might-not-realize-youve-been-using-incorrectly/">http://thoughtcatalog.com/2013/22-everyday-words-you-might-not-realize-youve-been-using-incorrectly/</a><br />
<br />
It led me to the word <i><b>'decimate' </b></i><br />
<br />
It means to eliminate one in every ten... <br />
<br />
I thought I knew, I never took a second look at it, I have been using it wrong for years and heard it used wrong in so many books and movies. I have internet hours left to put in on this one word alone.<br />
<br />
A few more good ones, check them out. Just wanted to rant for a bit.<br />
<br />
-FCJFCJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00183136519405554120noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-861273354881458382.post-72140673853783406082013-09-24T21:21:00.005-07:002013-09-24T21:22:47.720-07:00Solar Panel<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
Growing up in with
my family had many advantages. One of the most valuable (at least in my
opinion) is the sense of humor that each of us inherited and thrived upon. Our parents (mainly Dad) wouldn't hesitate to
poke fun at us, especially at stupid things we did. It was all done in jest and he made sure to
tell us that it was all in good humor and that no malice was intended; plus Mom
would always follow up with some form of "we love you just the way you
are, but that was really funny" making sure that we didn’t feel
ostracized. </div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
Because of this
profound upbringing we have all developed a sense of humor that allows us to
laugh at our own faults, traits, and/or actions. We can be kind of relentless towards each
other, always with a smile and always with the intent to make the other
laugh. This can backfire. I distinctly remember a time when we (I think
just the four guys) were at a restaurant.
As usual jokes were flying back and forth and we were having a great
time. We also, as we often tended to do,
attempted to bring the server into the conversation each time she came to the
table. She greeted us and was caught
slightly off guard but the slightly off color implied joke (made by Dad) but
took it in stride and went off to place our order. Her second visit resulted in
a tag team of veiled comments, plenty of nudges, winks, and a lot of say no
mores. She very obviously couldn't tell
if we were being serious or not and may or may not have left table in tears (we
were too busy laughing to notice
much). Keep in mind that we were not
being mean or insulting, were we just poking fun and she got flustered. Turned out it was her first week and she was
still learning the ropes and wasn't expecting a bunch of double entendre and
thinly veiled self deprecation. She
eventually got an apology and a fairly big tip.
</div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
It wasn't until a
few years later that I realized that this wasn't common for most families. We were playing poker at my house and at the
table was Dad, FCJ, myself, and a few others.
The insults started flying, particularly around my father's lack of
height as well as the growing prominence of his bald spot. It got to the point
where one of the other players finally came to his defense: "Leave him alone. You've been pestering him since he sat
down." To which I replied: "It's ok, he's my Dad." This was met with mixed results. Some, the older few, thought I was being
disrespectful while the younger crowd
though I was justified, especially when he started throwing insults back.</div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
This is why I get a
little sad when I see things like this:</div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Not-Bald-Spot-Machine-T-shirt/dp/B000FZ97I6" target="_blank"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/31-QSVqO+XL.jpg" width="306" /></a><span id="goog_262796801"></span><span id="goog_262796802"></span><a href="http://www.blogger.com/"></a></div>
<div style="margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
The first thing that
comes to mind it that I would love to share this with (purchase for) Dad, then
I remember that I can't. </div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
~Biliotender</div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
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Ok, first of all, f*** you guys and your persistent
insistence that I read these damn books. While I haven't actually 'read'
anything but a few chapters I have delved into the amazing world that Marsters
does a damn fine job of bringing to light and have enjoyed every minute of it.
I have finished the fourth book and can't wait to add more witty lines to my
notes: "loopier than a crochet convention"!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It gets me thinking, have you ever watched a movie or a
television show that got you hooked? That drew you into the characters so well
that you crushed when it ended?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I get this way sometimes, mainly with movies. It ends and I
want to follow their lives for a bit longer, wrap things up more completely, get
another hint of mystery or an idea of who the characters are. The cliffhangers
don't get me as much as just knowing that there is more to follow, a new
adventure to start, and not a lot of mingling with the unfamiliar.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I guess you guys have gotten me back into it, the whole
reading thing... Hells bells, I realize I haven't read anything meaningful in
over a year until this little series came and sucked me in. To be fair, thus far I
have only done the audio books and a few pages of light reading in-between to
keep my pride intact; in public, though, I'll say I "read" the books, air quotations or not.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-FCJ</div>
FCJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00183136519405554120noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-861273354881458382.post-23685397112976387982013-07-28T21:24:00.001-07:002013-07-28T21:24:55.453-07:00The Origin of Things<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Every time we
get together, my brothers and I tend to get <a href="http://bensmindlesschatter.blogspot.com/search/label/Word%20of%20the%20Day">hung
up</a> on a word or phrase; arguing over the origin and proper use or, more
likely, misuse. With today’s smartphones, we can quickly ping the interwebs for
an answer usually leading to more chin scratching and the muttering of phrases
such as: “Ah yes. That makes sense” or “Really?
It sounds more Russian than French”. The
funny things is that we have no idea what we are talking about, but we like to
pretend. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There have
been many ……discussions over the years: rife; lineagey; remote; etc. Tonight the word that caught our interest was
smithereens. For some twisted reason the first thing I thought of was Mr.
Smithers (I already said we didn’t know what we were talking about). A quick search led us to a <a href="http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/blown-to-smithereens.html">page</a>
explaining that Smithereens was Irish in origin and could be based on an old
Gaelic word ‘Smiodar’ meaning fragments.
The article had a second origin that I actually prefer; “’smithereens’ …<span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="color: #222222;"> </span></span><span style="color: #222222;">refers to the shards of metal formed when iron is forged
and hammered in a smithy.</span>” Unfortunately there aren’t enough sources to
support the theory. What followed next was a perfect example of how we
like to pretend to be linguists. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The article
mentioned that the addition of ‘een’ to the word acted as a diminutive and gave
an example: Caile + een = colleen. According
to the all-knowing Wikipedia , <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diminutive">diminutives</a> are used to
indicate the smallness of the root word.
Smithereens would then be indicating tiny fragments ….. as opposed to
larger ones? Anyway, in our infinite wisdom
and bountiful laziness, we didn’t look up the word diminutive. Instead we took it that diminutive was a tool
that make the word feminine. Following
that derailed train of logic FCJ comes up with the quote of the night: “So
then, loosely translated, the word 'Smithereens' means fiery flying lady
bits?" <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">~Bibliotender</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
Bibliotenderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03925888681108092451noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-861273354881458382.post-42664955242789025252013-06-20T11:22:00.003-07:002013-06-20T11:22:35.067-07:00I Miss The Smurfs <img alt="" class="spotlight" height="362" src="https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/1005872_10200832161060224_58225760_n.jpg" width="400" /><br />
<br />
<br />
I don't know what happened here, but I think I like it. I'm not one to post just any old picture that I find from the internet. This made me laugh, absolutely, but then it got me to thinking...<br />
<br />
This kid may never even know about the smurfs. Our childhood cartoon heroes are essentially lost to the more recent generations and, instead, they will grow up with the Spongebob form of entertainment where stupidity and unintelligible humor are celebrated.<br />
<br />
Now, I am not, in any way, saying that The Smurfs was an extremely sharp and witty show. I am not saying that I learned a whole lot. I am saying that I think these shows had general messages, and characters that we could identify with. The Smurfs may be a bad example; if we throw Looney Toons, Animaniacs, Thundercats (they don't get talked about enough), and even Care Bears, I think I might make my point a little better.<br />
<br />
Bottom line is we have lost a bit of something and I want to get it back... even if I have to rip apart a smurf to do it.<br />
<br />
-FCJ<br />
FCJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00183136519405554120noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-861273354881458382.post-33329490777257111542013-04-23T23:17:00.000-07:002013-04-23T23:17:56.165-07:00Nothing is Funny Out of Context<br />
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
Sometimes it's the
little things in life that get you through the day. It could be a smile from a loved one, a
giggle from a child, a blush from a co-worker when they finally get your double
entendre, or the uncontrollable laughter over something that catches you off
guard. The last is my favorite.</div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
The best part about
those moments is that they often lead to inside jokes that cannot be explained
no matter how hard you try. Often times
the situation alone isn't that funny and retelling it only highlights that fact. I can distinctly remember one night many
moons ago, FCJ, Cap't Punc. and I were watching TV when a particular commercial
came on interrupting our show. I'm not
sure what specific conditions were present that caused us to laugh so hard that
we couldn't breath, wheezing out tiny squeals as we doubled over nearly passing
out from lack of oxygen. It may have been the time of night, we didn't often
get to stay up until midnight so in our defense we were quite tired and
obviously not thinking straight. What sent us into a teary eyed fit of giggles?
A simple commercial that started off with an old man proudly stating "I
have gas." I'm not even sure what the rest of the commercial was about. </div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
Years later FCJ and
I were killing time while watching Robot Chicken. Some of the skits were funny, most were
...meh, but one just ….caught us by surprise.
The skit starts with a Japanese guy walking into a room whilst singing a
song, in Japanese. He sits down, takes off his coat and hangs it up, takes out
a kimono and puts in on, and takes off first on shoe, then the other. At the exact same time we both recognize the
song and the parody. It was the opening
sequence to <a href="http://video.adultswim.com/robot-chicken/japanese-mr-rogers.html">Mr.
Rogers Neighborhood</a> ...in Japanese.
Doesn't sound too funny? Looking
back on it now, it isn't really that funny but we both lost our minds; laughing
so hard that we couldn't speak for several minutes. The interesting thing is that we lost control
well before the punch line of the skit.</div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
I had a similar experience tonight. I'm not sure if I should attribute this
latest episode to a lack of sleep, increased stress levels at work, or the
insanity that is the daily homework battles with the Bibliochildren. I was calmly lurking through the comments of
a Reddit <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/videos/comments/1cz3c4/cutting_a_watermelon_in_20_seconds/">post</a>
about a guy cutting a watermelon in 21 seconds.
There was the normal discussions about how sharp the knife was, if that
glove he was wearing was actually effective against a "real" knife (
I assumed they were referring to the Paul Hogan variety), and semi serious
sidebar discussions about how to debone a wild turkey. Then someone posted a
link to <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=upxw2eiPQwU">this video</a>. I lost it.
Then I tried to regain my composure and failed, falling into another fit
of giggles. </div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
It's a good thing
Bibliowife didn't witness the event. I'm
not sure she would have understood….and she already thinks I'm strange.</div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
~Bibliotender</div>
Bibliotenderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03925888681108092451noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-861273354881458382.post-63343114238819051172013-02-10T17:09:00.000-08:002013-02-10T17:09:08.074-08:00I think it's time he learned...<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
I was fighting with the BiblioChild3 for dominance of the
comfy chair.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Things were going
as planned; I was only paying partial attention to the battle while the rest of
my attention was on focused elsewhere when he cheated. The little shit bit me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Granted he was pinned, inverted, and out of
options but that’s just…..not cool. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He knew it was out of bounds too because he ran upstairs
giggling the entire way knowing that I wouldn’t spend the energy to chase him.
Instead, I attempted to shake him to his core with a masterly use of linguistic
threats.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“You cheated you little booger!” </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m no Shakespeare but I can deliver the goods when
necessary. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He responded with <giggle
giggle giggle>”That’s what you get.”<giggle giggle giggle></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“You had better not come back down here or I will give you a
proper Charlie Horse.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He broke into a new fit of giggles as he ran upstairs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>2 minutes later he was already itching to
come back down. Making it to the landing, he asks “Dad, what’s a Charlie
Horse?”</div>
Bibliotenderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03925888681108092451noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-861273354881458382.post-13033772016565519762012-09-03T17:22:00.003-07:002012-09-03T17:22:38.989-07:00Typical....
<br />
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
From time to time it
is necessary to repair a household item.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Usually this is due to one of the children and a projectile that was
….projected within the confines of a small room.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Often times items just wear out and need
replacing and the job of Mr. Fixit usually falls into my lap.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Unfortunately, we in my family seem to suffer
from some sort of affliction that causes repairs to take longer than normally
necessary.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The extra time can be
attributed to a second trip to the hardware store to fix the replacement part
that broke during installation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
This same pattern
was displayed during my most recent repair man duties.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The toilet was leaking from under the
tank.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My initial expert opinion led me
to believe that the water line needed to be replaced.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Cue trip 1 to the hardware store.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>10 minutes after returning home I had the
line replaced, the floor dry and was about to enjoy a quite afternoon relaxing
on the couch; alas the leak continued.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
At this point I
realize that the leak is not in the water line but in the tank itself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I thought it possible<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>that the seal for the fill valve had cracked
and decided to <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WjeptaI2T8E">disassemble</a>
it, clean it and put it back, just incase it could be fixed with the old
Windows method (shutdown and reboot).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
should mention that this is a very small space the bathroom that my children
use…..the male children…..the three young male children.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I spent the next 13 minutes with my nose two
inches away from some …..unspeakable aromas while I took apart the necessary
pieces, cleaned and reassembled them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
would like to imagine that the close confines of the itty bitty room combined
with the fumes I was breathing that caused the next incident.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All I was doing was helping the toilet out of
a jam, I guess, and I used a little too much force.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We drove that car as far as we coul……sorry, I
got side tracked.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In reality I just
wasn't paying attention and counted too high. </div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
"One righty
tighty, two righty tighty, three righty ti…" SNAP!</div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
I Broke the
stem.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
One more trip to the
hardware store; this time for an entire valve kit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>15 minutes after returning home I had the
toilet flushing like a champ and without the embarrassing leak.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It just goes to show that I can fix anything
twice; just let me break it first.</div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
~Bibliotender</div>
Bibliotenderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03925888681108092451noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-861273354881458382.post-34641798662535755732012-08-09T15:54:00.001-07:002012-08-09T15:54:24.176-07:00Out of the mouth of babes.....<br />
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">
<br />
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">
Bill Cosby once said "Kids say the darndest things." As a father of 3 children that routinely refrain from remaining r...silent. I've noticed a few categories:</div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-weight: bold;">The crying babble</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">
THUNK! </div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">
"AGGGHGHHHH!!!"</div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">
Thump thump thuMP THUMP THUMP THUMP </div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">
The child comes sprinting in to<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>the room trying to make as much noise as possible in an effort to demonstrate how injured he is. He pulls on your sleeve while donning the perfect injured face and starts to hyperventilate as he tries to tell you the story of the worst injury and injustice of all time.</div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">
BC2: "DAD!!! Bibliochild1 hit me!! Itoldhimnottothrowthetoyandhedidn'tlistensoItriedtotakeitfromhimandbesafeandthenhehitme" #GASP</div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">
D: "Calm down and tell me what happened."</div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">
BC2: "I didn't do anything and Bibliochild1 hit me!"</div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">
D: "You didn't do anything?"</div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">
BC2: "No!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was just trying to take the toy away so he didn't throw it"</div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">
D: "So you tried to take the toy out of his hands?"</div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">
BC2: "….HewasgoingtothrowitatmeandIdidn'twanthimtothrowitatme…"</div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">
D: "STOP! Go back up stairs and tell Bibliochild1 that I want to talk to him"</div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">
BC2: grinning "BIBLIOCHILD1!! Dad wants to talk to you"</div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">
BC2 manages to give BC1 a shoulder shove as they pass on the stairs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">
D: "Did you hit your brother?"</div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">
BC1: "YesbuthehitmefirstItoldhimnottoandhedidn'tlisten…."</div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">
Lather, rinse, repeat.</div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-weight: bold;">The "important" details</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">
My children are always trying to be in the middle of the conversation, even if (especially if) they were not originally included. Unfortunately they always seem to focus on the details that don't contribute to the story being told.</div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">
D: "I saw a car chase last night."</div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">
M: "Really? Where?"</div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">
D: "On my way home from work…"</div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">
BC1: "What color was the car?"</div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">
D: "...red" [back to M] "I had to pull over onto the shoulder until…"</div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">
BC1: #tugging on my sleeve "Was it a Ford?"</div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">
D: "No."</div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">
BC1: "Was the car delivered to the dealership in a trailer?"</div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">
D: "I don't know. Why does it matter?"</div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">
BC1: "Did the police have a dog with them?"</div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">
D: "I don't know."</div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">
BC1: "Did the police have a shotgun in the car?"</div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">
D: "Don't you have somewhere to be?"</div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">
BC1: "No. What do you think they feed the police dog?"</div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-weight: bold;">The "you're not supposed to say that here"</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">
I was picking up the Bibliokids from school. A couple parents/guardians are there waiting for the kids to make their appearance from the far of lands known as "the playground."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A little girl (about 10) comes skipping in and upon seeing her guardian/father/parole officer, shouts "Henry!" and starts running towards him, she stops short and says "No wait.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hi my nigga!"<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Henry hisses "Shhhh! We don't say that kind of thing out in public, only at home" </div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-weight: bold;">The random question</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">
Riding along in my automobile, my baby beside me at the wheel...wait...wrong story….</div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">
These types of questions usually manifest themselves while we are in the car.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It doesn't matter where we are going, where we came from or what the current topic of conversation is; the children will inevitably produce a question that is so far out in left field that I'm caught totally off guard.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Bibliowife and I could be discussing our upcoming plans when one of the creatures in the back seat will ask something like "What's the most venomous snake in Africa?" or "What would happen if you filled a soccer ball with Jell-O?"</div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">
Any others?</div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">
~Bibliotender</div>
</div>Bibliotenderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03925888681108092451noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-861273354881458382.post-55875301230817471352012-07-14T02:14:00.000-07:002012-08-09T15:55:04.455-07:00Yesterday A song Captn and I were talking about. I end up listening to it all the way through every time it comes on...<br />
<br />
<br />
I thought I saw you yesterday<br />
But I didn't stop, 'cause you was walkin' the opposite way<br />
I guess I could've shouted out your name<br />
But even if it was you, I don't know what I would say<br />
We could sit and reminisce about the old school<br />
Maybe share a cigarette, because we both fools<br />
Chop it up and compare perspectives<br />
Life, love, stress and set-backs, yes<br />
So you could tell me how hard you had it<br />
And you could show me all the scars to back it<br />
And we could analyze each complaint<br />
Break it down and explain these mistakes I make<br />
I like to tangle up the strings of the puppetry<br />
But you knew me back when I was a younger me<br />
You seen Sean in all types of light<br />
And I've been meanin' to ask you if I'm doin' alright<br />
<br />
<i>[Chorus x2]</i><br />
Yesterday<br />
Was that you? Looked just like you<br />
Strange thangs my imagination might do<br />
Take a breath, reflect on what we been through<br />
Or am I just goin' crazy 'cause I miss you?<br />
<br />
<i>[V2]</i><br />
I'm shook, I know, I pushed when I should've pulled<br />
Took it all back if I could, I put that on my soul<br />
And I would make a top-notch good listener<br />
If you could block-off a little time out to give it here<br />
Since we went our separate paths<br />
I've hit a couple snags that remind me of the past<br />
I can't front, I'm havin' a blast<br />
But damned if I ain't afraid of how long it's gonna last<br />
Sittin' here wishin' we could kick it<br />
Give me your opinions, I do miss the criticisms<br />
I didn't mean to be distant, make a visit<br />
I'll wait up and keep the coffee brewin' in the kitchen<br />
But who am I jokin' with?<br />
There's no way that you and I will ever get to re-open it<br />
It doesn't matter, this is more than love<br />
And maybe if I'm lucky, get to see you out the corner of<br />
<br />
<i>[Chorus x2]</i><br />
Yesterday<br />
Was that you? Looked just like you<br />
Strange thangs my imagination might do<br />
Take a breath, reflect on what we been through<br />
Or am I just goin' crazy 'cause I miss you?<br />
<br />
<i>[V3]</i><br />
And when you left, I didn't see it comin'<br />
I guess I slept, it ain't like you was runnin'<br />
You crept out the front door slow<br />
And I was so self-absorbed I didn't even know<br />
And by the time I looked up it was booked up<br />
Put it all behind you, the bad and the good stuff<br />
A whole house full of dreams and steps<br />
I think you'd be impressed with the pieces I kept<br />
You disappeared but the history is still here<br />
It's why I try not to cry over spilt beer<br />
I can't even get mad that you're gone<br />
Leavin' me was probably the best thing you ever taught me<br />
I'm sorry, it's official<br />
I was a fist-full, I didn't keep it simple<br />
Chip on the shoulder, anger in my veins<br />
Had so much hatred, now it brings me shame<br />
Never thought about the world without you<br />
And I promise that I'll never say another bad word about you<br />
I thought I saw you yesterday<br />
But I knew it wasn't you, 'cause you passed away, dad<br />
<br />
Looked just like you<br />
Strange thangs my imagination might do<br />
Take a breath, reflect on what we been through<br />
Or am I just goin' crazy 'cause I miss you?<br />
<br />
-FCJFCJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00183136519405554120noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-861273354881458382.post-70549718671156849862012-05-06T20:05:00.002-07:002012-05-06T20:05:28.781-07:00...and now I have a new list to work through....<a href="http://www.foodrepublic.com/2012/01/03/all-hail-scottish-whisky-flavour-map" target="_blank">Scotch flavor map</a>Bibliotenderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03925888681108092451noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-861273354881458382.post-74182994816809863832012-04-23T22:59:00.001-07:002012-04-23T22:59:37.096-07:00Plungerball anyone?<br />
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Somebody once said "necessity is the mother of invention."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our childhood was filled with events and games that required us to amuse ourselves<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>using only the materials at hand. This was usually because our parents didn't think we needed the latest shiny toys; instead they taught use to make due with what we had.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It wasn't until years later when I was trying to explain some of these games to Bibliowife did I realize how strange some of the games were.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some games were completely thought out prior to starting, other times the game would evolve mid game as new rules were added to make it more difficult to score points.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<br />Indoor hockey</div>
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I can't remember if this game came about during a particularly rainy day<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>or we were just too lazy to go outside.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The equipment consisted of 1 tennis ball and lots of furniture.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We were not allowed to move the furniture around so we had to make due with the natural layout of the room.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The "goals" consisted of the legs of a dining table, a doorframe, two barstools and the triple wide doorframe.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We would stay on our knees using our hands like hockey sticks, slapping the tennis ball towards the goal.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After a lamp decidedly got in the way of our game, we were forced to create<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>rule stating that the ball was not to leave the ground.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This game resulted in many carpet burned knees, broken nic nacs, damaged furniture and injured phalanges<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>as we often dove into the furniture in an attempt to prevent a goal.</div>
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Paddle-ball Tournament</div>
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Smashball 'rackets'? Check, Tennis Ball? Check,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Old wooden garage door? Check.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Let the tournament begin.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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Rummaging through the garage in search of something to play with because Mom kicked us out of the house again in an attempt to remove us from the glow of the television resulted in a find that provided us with a weekend of neighborhood fun.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I (yes, I'm taking credit) found some smashball rackets, the balls were nowhere to be found; probably resting peacefully at the bottom of the Pacific.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Combined with an old tennis ball and our incredibly solid garage door and we started a game similar to racquetball.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We played for hours, which I can only assume drove our Mother crazy with the noise that must have reverberated throughout the house<span style="font-style: italic;">.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Crack! Thump! bounce Crack! Thump! bounce</span> repeat ad nauseum.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She must have thought that we would quit when Dad came home since he often required a quite house after a long day stuck in traffic.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Unfortunately for her peace of mind, Dad loved the game; so much so that he formalized some rules and defined the court.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The game continued late into the night, until we could barely see the ball and arguments over the validity of a bounce got so frequent that Mom finally shut us down.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Luckily the next day was Saturday and the game continued early in the morning, again by Dad insisting that we finish.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>By now the neighbors caught wind of our game and asked if they could compete.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Extra paddles were found and the one on one tournament turned into a doubles competition that lasted the entire weekend. </div>
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Plungerball</div>
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What do you get when you find a shallow cast iron bucket, a plunger and an assortment of baseballs, tennis balls, and softballs?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You get a game that was very hard to explain to wives, girlfriends and mothers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The game started out with a simple challenge.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How many balls can you make into the bucket? Sink a ball, take a step back, lather, rinse, repeat.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Eventually we got pretty good at this and it was time to up the ante.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, naturally we added a plunger.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Instead of trying to land the ball in the bucket, we would try to catch it in the plunger.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This wasn't one of the new namby pamby plungers<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>with an accordion head,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>this was the old wood stick with a shallow pink rubber bowl attached. The baseballs proved fairly easy to catch with a little practice but the tennis balls were impossible. </div>
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Good times, good times.</div>
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~Bibliotender</div>Bibliotenderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03925888681108092451noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-861273354881458382.post-13236844497127331562012-04-20T00:09:00.002-07:002012-04-20T00:17:27.937-07:00So... I Drive Faster NowSo... I drive faster now.<br /><br />I recently (like five months ago) purchased a new head unit (CD player/stereo thing) for my car and have just now installed the thing.<br /><br />Listening to my own music seems to make my average MPH increase just a little (10-15). I feel as if I am sixteen again, zipping around corners, rolling stop signs, etc. I'm sure that just by installing this little unit will get me a ticket sooner or later.<br /><br />I remember when I was ~12 years old and Biblio had been driving for a number of years. There are so many stories I could tell (jumping railroads in the Astro Van...) but the thing that sticks out to this day was a couple of comments he made when we used to travel together on the way to church or youth group.<br /><br />I recall two things:<br /><br />1. Rage Against the Machine will cause one to drive 10-20 miles an hour faster than usual, probably why it was one of the first CDs that was lost in my room (stolen from Biblio's).<br /><br />2. Eric Clapton's Wonderful Tonight is the song that one should play if ever trying to, ummm, build on the relationship.<br /><br />Thank you for the tips over the years Biblio, please feel free to add your own rememberings.<br /><br />-FCJFCJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00183136519405554120noreply@blogger.com1