MindlessChatter

Have you reached a point in your life where your children are better than you at something? Can’t beat your kid at that new fangled video game? The solution is easy, take them out of their comfort zone and introduce them to a former territory of yours, the skate ring! That’s right, that dirty polyurethane floor, or maple if you’re lucky, was where you were once king of the wheel footed speed demons. The first whiff of the poorly ventilated air mixed with stench of sweaty skaters brings back memories of when you were eager to show off your new moves grooving to disco blasted through rented speakers. I was going to be the epitome of cool. Family Guy Disco Skating Season 5 Uploaded by SongFamilyGuy . - Click for more funny videos. Despite the fact that it had been at least 20 years since I had been on actual roller skates, I thought I would have no problem regaining my perceived skill, I was wrong. Have you seen those cartoons where an octopus flails helplessly on skates?...

Apparently there is a thriving black market for the left shoe and for some odd reason only the sizes 1-5 are in demand (someone should warn our father). I got a call this morning from an irate BiblioWife stating that if the school calls, I have to handle the issue because she is done with the kids. Apparently BiblioChild3 could not locate his left shoe and spent the entire morning wandering around the house looking for it (read: staring at the ceiling saying “I can’t find them.”) She opted to send the child to school in illegal sandals in the hope that the professional school staff would fail to look down the entire day. BiblioChild1 has 2 pairs of shoes, BiblioChild2 has 3 ½ pairs in various conditions from barely held together to needing duct tape. BiblioChild3 has 17 individual right foot shoes and 0 left footed ones to make a pair. This isn’t much of an issue during the summer as they either live barefoot or don thin pieces of foam that they claim are sandals (to be honest, we a...

To the lady at the bar last night… Did you have fun last night? I thought so. The other bartender and I could tell that you enjoyed yourself so thoroughly. We do have a bit of advice for you to consider next time you and your friends decide to visit to the bar: Don’t. It’s not because you didn’t tip us, nor because you and your friends stationed yourselves at the bar, taking up space when I had a full room of people trying to place orders. It was mostly your voice and high pitch cackling that really grated on our nerves. You really didn’t have to whoop and laugh at everything that your beau mumbled or after each swig of “beer”. Trust me, I enjoy a party atmosphere just as much as the next guy but the party is over when everyone around you is giving you stink eye (including the three guys that made up the rest of your group) and my patrons, potential tippers, left the bar in pursuit of an area filled with less screeching. I did find something hard to understand and I hope y...