I think I understand why we stopped posting to this blog. After dad passed, and I moved back to California, I think it made sense that we saw each other nearly every Saturday and we told our stories in person.
Now, the Cap'N and I live basically one minute from one another, walking, and Biblio is merely twenty minutes away. We hardly ever get together, and we really don't talk all that much.
I miss it..
That being said, I really want to talk about my bachelor party...
I don't want strippers. Let me get that out of the way. Some of my friends think that Funnel Kake doesn't want me to have them and so I am shying away from it. NO! I really don't care to go to strip clubs, it does nothing for me. I think it is because I have such bad night vision and those places are dark.
Honestly, I have had a lot of people want me to do some super involved extravagantly planned evening, when all I really want is for a bunch of my friends to hang out. So, I have decided that we can all get some food and drinks, have one of my sober buddies drive everyone around in a rented 15 passenger van, and then go get some more drinks and possibly find a place to play pool or something later.. or darts, darts sounds fun. This seems like a good day to me, am I off base here?
Thursday, December 29, 2016
First let me apologize preemptively, J is a really nice guy, he means well, and past injuries combined with medical issues may have led to the current situation. Be that as it may, talking to him can be a bit of a challenge.
In a single conversation, he was somehow able to include:
- Flying cars and why can we have them
- Chinese cup therapy
- Ooo look at that explosion (news)
- Walking from elementary school to middle school
- Why can't they convert cars to use veg oil or natural gas, he knew a guy who had a car like that, it didn't make any pollution
I've collected a few tidbits over the past couple of months. Most of these are taken out of context, but to be fair most were never in context to begin with.
- Pointing at the tv: "what did they do? Put it on pets?"
- "I had chicken pox a bunch of times… then my family got a nice Mexican family and they had small pox…."
- "I had the same suit as Elvis the pelvis. My collar was to here, my was was here… it was black" (yes he did say 'was' twice)
- He knew the step to rock a robin…
- "My dad stoled my thing… my important thing"
- "The guys went bwhuhuh beepbeepbeep then didn't call back"
- "I ran track, I played tennis, I won trophies, I played little league baseball and pop Warner. I played basketball, I was too short I came on and there were tall guys, I didn't like it but I made the shots."
- "He made one on a muffin buy I don't remember"
- "I boxed when I was young so I'm wheeeewheeee… sounds you like some flowers?"
- "I sniffed the air because I couldn't hear. I better be careful of you'll singe my hairs"
- "I used to like hockey, before the built up the things"
- "I thought he was nurtured the way he talked…"
- Long conversation about how he meet a wrestler, got knocked 5 rows back, then he offered him beer but liked it in his shoes. Then Hulk Hogan put him back in his seat.
- "You know movies today, they can play two parts flipping and a fighting… you know the would fight with clothes on..Elvis had clothes and he wore them but it was two people"
- "Mi casa su casa….that's about as far as I can go in Spanish"
- His professional knife throwing days
- "From the time he got struck by lightning, then the doctors wanted to put him on meds, but the got died, then the guy with the 5' 4" but a marine and I saw a 57 or a 59 so that's all I worried about." (We think the lightning bit may be true)
- About the time he got into a fight with a guy and accidentally drive a pitch fork through the guy but "they swept it under the rug"
- How he made his own thousand island dressing that everyone in the restaurant wanted over their own orders. I think he was claiming to invent thousand island dressing.
- His grandma had 150 Indian kids and didn't accept welfare
- Played little league for the World Series in Mexico
- "I won a world series ring but I lost it"
- His brother had a dog that bit his alarm clock, broke his teeth
- "I don't want to eat bugs on my corn, it's like a happy motorcycle driver…."
- Described a story that was suspiciously like the knoif scene in Crocodile Dundee
- Got paid $1,000 for being an extra on a kids TV show for one day of work
- His grandpa shot Hitler in the arm during WW1
- His dad was an extra in gone with the wind and movies with Abbot and Costello
- Clark gable broke his dad's foot
- "You know those really big guys...the Dutch "
- Witnessed a fight between two Dutch guys, one threw a pool table at the other
- "If you aim a radar gun at a tree, it reads 6mph because the earth is spinning"
- His dad knew Marilyn Monroe and knew that one of the Kennedy's got her pregnant.
- He's claimed that his great grandfather was Sitting Bull and that he was 1/16th Cherokee.
Each time we meet, I make it a point to try and encourage his stories just to see what he will say next. Again, he is a great guy and is always smiling and laughing but it's getting more and more difficult to tell which "fact" actually happened and which ones he saw on late night TV.
Tuesday, February 9, 2016
My first CD was a an album by Salt-N-Pepa , which I've never learned how to spell properly until now. My second CD was some single by an R&B artists that the girl I fancied at the time was into. Eventually my cousin turned me onto the scam that was Columbia House mail order CDs. I immediately signed up for the free CDs that my cousin recommended to me and signed my soul over to Columbia House.
My collection quickly grew to include Pink Floyd, Metallica, Primus, Pearl Jam, Stone Temple Pilots, Soundgarden, and many others. I have a very distinct memory of my cousin telling me that I needed to listed to this new album that was destined to be huge and he "knew about it" before anybody else. That album was Temple of the Dog. Keep in mind that this was pre internet days ; the only way to hear about music was to listen to the radio or take advice from friends and buy the albums. Sometimes it worked and sometimes you were left with a CD that was destined to become a coaster.
In high school I was an avid consumer of anything that Alice in Chains produced but once I started driving I needed something faster. That's when I learned about Rage Against the Machine and Metallica's earlier albums. Sure I stayed in the mainstream for the most part but I was enjoying what I could find. I wasn't one to listen to the radio too much, too many commercials and repeat songs, so I borrowed and copied as many CDs as possible .
Looking back, I notice that I tended to listed to music that got my blood boiling and amped me up. Rage Against the Machine, Metallica, STP, and Primus really helped fuel my energy levels but I still had a soft spot for some acoustic tracks. I'm sure my brothers both have vivid memories of waking up to Rage blasting through the vents connecting our bedrooms. As I get older, I tend to lean more towards the acoustic versions of the songs that I enjoy or, even better, my favorite band doing acoustic renditions of their songs (or covers). MTV's unplugged series has a lot of flaws and criticism about commercialism and selling out but damn if it doesn't deliver some amazing versions of songs that I constantly listen to.
As I type this, I'm listening to Nirvana's cover of "Where did you sleep last night" and I get shivers every time I hear Curt's voice crack. Clapton's classic album is the golden standard for acoustic renditions. STP and Alice in Chains unplugged concerts have had a constant presence on my playlist ever since their release. I'm not sure if my tastes have changed to favor acoustic performances or if I've just gotten old. It's not just songs from my past toned down, I've come to love any acoustic version of a song that is done well.
Whisky ran out….post over….
Friday, February 13, 2015
People watching is a great way to pass the time by yourself or with a group where everyone gets to silently or judge people based on their appearance. Occasionally alcohol is involved and the judging can get loud…..and funny. I noticed that we would frequently see the same thing over and over again. We were more likely to see different patterns depending on the venue. Disneyland, for example, always had a couple of Goths running around; there was always some kid being forced onto a ride when they were clearly terrified; and my favorite, there was always a group flag (generally held by an Asian guy). Sure, stereotypes were reinforced and we are definitely horrible people for pointing and laughing but hey, it's entertaining.
Naturally we needed to make a game out of it. Being the nerdy geek that I am, I felt compelled to create tool that would allow me to easily randomize the bingo squares and quickly switch between topics. One night at the computer and a bottle of wine produced this.
Thursday, July 24, 2014
Many years ago in a cubicle far, far away, sits a bored analyst. He has finished his work early but chose not to tell anyone lest more work is assigned, plus he told them it would take a week longer than actually necessary. The only thing keeping our hero's eyes open is the irresistible need to click the "next" button.
Let me explain.
I would often find myself in a position where I would have to look busy instead of actually being busy. Part of this was laziness and another part was playing the long game with management. If I were to let them know that their request only took 10 minutes, instead of the 2 days that I told them it would take, I would just end up with more work and shorter deadlines. So I had two options: ask for more work or keep myself busy until I felt that enough time had passed. Eventually I found webcomics.
The first one I found that really caught my interest was UserFriendly where I got to read about a friendly little dust puppy, aptly named Dust Puppy, play Quake and help the IT staff install windows 98. Then I found Sluggy comics, PVP, Sinfest, and many, many more. Even a few that …..I shouldn't have accessed from my work computer.
Inevitably I migrated back to the comics I truly hold dear. The Sunday morning comics that arrive on my doorstep each week. Comics that have been around for many years along side some new ones that are still struggling to find a voice. Garfield, B.C.,Zits, Peanuts, The Far Side, and my personal favorite : Calvin and Hobbes.
There are many sites and articles that go into great detail about Bill Watterson and his copyright struggles, the Sunday morning format battles, and his utter refusal to commercialize any of his characters. I have a few of his book around the house and even got the Biblio kids hooked onto Calvin's shenanigans. There are a few tribute strips out there in the same style that I 've come to enjoy quite a bit as well.
Wednesday, July 2, 2014
Sometimes I forget that small generational gaps between two individuals can lead to totally different childhood experiences. Sure there are cultural and economic differences but some experiences are fairly universal during childhood. Kids movies fore example; most people my age got to experience the same 80's animation that I was exposed to and we can bond over favorite scenes or quotes.
My coworker (Princess McFuzzy Britches*) showed me a pictures of a rock formation, presumably something that she wants to climb. My first response was: "That looks like Little Foot's mom". To which see replied "…." The following exchange then took place:
Me: Tree stars?
Me: You're telling me that you have never heard of The Land Before Time?
R: What year did it come out?
R: Ah, I was going to concerts during that time.
Me: But that means that you never got to experience the sadness that this movie generated.
R: Isn't it a kids movie?
Me: Yes…it had happy moments as well. What about An American Tail?
R: Now you are making this up.
Me: You've never heard the tear jerker of a song "Somewhere Out There" and the rousing attack of the Giant Mouse of Minsk that chased all the cats off he pier?
R: The giant what?
Me: Did you see any movies in the late 80's - early 90's?
R: Not very many. I was out partying while you babies sat in front of the television.
Me: What about The Chipmunk Adventure? Songs like "I, Yi, Yi, Yi, Yi like you very much" should have landed on your radar. It was easily one of the best songs to come out of the 80's.
To make matters worse, she somehow missed most of the family movies that were prominent during my childhood; with the exception of Molly Ringwald movies. Go figure. It saddens me that this mother of two will never experience the adventure of a hot air balloon race around the world; never understand humiliation of the truffle shuffle; the joy at learning that someone is only mostly dead; never share in the exhilaration of riding a luck dragon; the sadness of losing your mother to a Sharptooth attack; the fear of an appliance left behind, destined for the car crusher; the utter betrayal of Hoggle or the package of Bowie.
*It's worth noting that the Princess has been trying to give herself the nickname O'ren Ichi thus violating rule # 5 of of the friendship code: thou shalt not give thy self a moniker; one shall be bestowed upon thee.