OK I get it; you’ve been waiting to place your order. I know that I have been helping the cocktail servers, dinner servers and the manager, ignoring you in the process. I apologize that I helped the person closest to me after making 15 drinks for a table in the restaurant, I was not aware that you arrived before he did. I understand that the other bartender has ignored you as well because he is stuck at the other end of the bar where 10 other people are shouting at him. I’m sorry it has taken me 5 minutes to get to you, even though the first thing out of your cake hole was “I’ve been waiting for 15 minutes and you helped that other….yadda yadda…” But…..if you are going to bitch and moan about me being busy and wasting your time on your friends birthday when it’s your turn to buy rounds, you had better make damn sure that you know what you want to when I ask. I even apologized to you while sliding that square paper napkin in that magical spinning fashion to rest just below your second chin.
Even the person next to you rolled their eyes when you said “umm…well….what shots should I get for the birthday girl? Hey #girl_friend_2#, what does #birthday_girl# want? How many shots do we need?” Again I apologize for helping the two people next to you while you and your friends debated over which color the shot should be, they knew what they wanted and have been waiting just as long as you. It doesn’t do me any good to stand here and stare and your arm flaps while you turn around and converse with your group keeping one hand on the bar like you are saving your spot in line. I will help as many people as I can until you are ready. Again I apologize for loudly (read ‘so the entire bar could hear me over the music’) complimenting the gentlemen on your right for “knowing how to order in a bar,” and the lady on your left.
I refuse to apologize for the price of the shots though. If you would have been at least a little polite, I would have charged you the cheap price for the cheap vodka that I actually poured. As it was, I decided to charge you for the #high_end_over_priced_vodka# that you asked for even though you can’t taste the difference once you put in all that other crap that you asked for.
Remember that extra shot of #high_end_over_priced_vodka# that you asked for because “I’m not a lush, but your drinks are so small and weak”, the one that you wanted me to chill (read “water down in a shaker”) because you like it cold? That one that I charged you $10 for, the one that you bragged to your friends “I can drink #high_end_over_priced_vodka# all day…..Ahhh…That is good stuff.” Yeah, it wasn’t #high_end_over_priced_vodka#, you don’t really want to know what it was.
Again I apologize, but I refuse to feel sorry about it.