Thursday, January 21, 2010

To the whiney lady at the bar last week.

OK I get it; you’ve been waiting to place your order. I know that I have been helping the cocktail servers, dinner servers and the manager, ignoring you in the process. I apologize that I helped the person closest to me after making 15 drinks for a table in the restaurant, I was not aware that you arrived before he did. I understand that the other bartender has ignored you as well because he is stuck at the other end of the bar where 10 other people are shouting at him. I’m sorry it has taken me 5 minutes to get to you, even though the first thing out of your cake hole was “I’ve been waiting for 15 minutes and you helped that other….yadda yadda…” But…..if you are going to bitch and moan about me being busy and wasting your time on your friends birthday when it’s your turn to buy rounds, you had better make damn sure that you know what you want to when I ask. I even apologized to you while sliding that square paper napkin in that magical spinning fashion to rest just below your second chin.

Even the person next to you rolled their eyes when you said “umm…well….what shots should I get for the birthday girl? Hey #girl_friend_2#, what does #birthday_girl# want? How many shots do we need?” Again I apologize for helping the two people next to you while you and your friends debated over which color the shot should be, they knew what they wanted and have been waiting just as long as you. It doesn’t do me any good to stand here and stare and your arm flaps while you turn around and converse with your group keeping one hand on the bar like you are saving your spot in line. I will help as many people as I can until you are ready. Again I apologize for loudly (read ‘so the entire bar could hear me over the music’) complimenting the gentlemen on your right for “knowing how to order in a bar,” and the lady on your left.

I refuse to apologize for the price of the shots though. If you would have been at least a little polite, I would have charged you the cheap price for the cheap vodka that I actually poured. As it was, I decided to charge you for the #high_end_over_priced_vodka# that you asked for even though you can’t taste the difference once you put in all that other crap that you asked for.

Remember that extra shot of #high_end_over_priced_vodka# that you asked for because “I’m not a lush, but your drinks are so small and weak”, the one that you wanted me to chill (read “water down in a shaker”) because you like it cold? That one that I charged you $10 for, the one that you bragged to your friends “I can drink #high_end_over_priced_vodka# all day…..Ahhh…That is good stuff.” Yeah, it wasn’t #high_end_over_priced_vodka#, you don’t really want to know what it was.

Again I apologize, but I refuse to feel sorry about it.


  1. ouch.. remind me to always know exactly ehat i want and to watch you pour it in MY glass...

  2. I was so pissed at this lady that the servers stopped asking me for drinks and slowly backed away from the window. Later when I appologized to them and explained the situation, they completely understood and said they would have done the same thing.

  3. An addition to this, in terms of general customer service...

    This one goes out to all the customers that are in such an amazing hurry that I actually take at least twice as long to help you.

    ... Even though the last person I was helping walked away from my window, do not assume that I am ready, right this second, to help you. Especially with banking, where I have paperwork to follow up with after EVERY customer, you should try your hardest to wait your 70 year old fat ass at the sign that says 'PLEASE WAIT HERE". There is a reason for that sign, mainly because when you come to my window and try to peer down at the confidential information that is still on my desk I don't want to have to slap you and blind in ways that I don't dare talk about here. Furthermore, when I am typing still, when I have paperwork that I am obviously filling out, when I am on the phone with another customer and obviously not ready to help you yet, don't get pissed off when you shove your deposit slips in front of my face in order to block my view of my screen and I completely ignore you as I intended to from the beginning. You probably will understand how I feel when I make absolutely no eye contact with you and, less than politely, put your paperwork on the side until I am completely finished with what I am working on. And then, after that, don't get mad when I casually give you your deposit slip back and look you in the eye and say "I'll be with you in just a minute, I need to file this"



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