I share a cube with a Muppet

Currently I work in a building that holds more employees than cubicles, which leads to the fun prospect of cube sharing. Unless you have an office or have been here since the beginning of time (which many apparently have), you will be forced to share an 8X8 cube with someone else. If you are lucky this person will at least be easy to deal with or constantly in meetings away from their desk. What you don't want is a funny good looking person because you will either be laughing all the time neglecting the work that you should be doing or constantly trying to get a glimpse of their naughty bits.

Unfortunately for me, my cube mate is none of these. Now, let me preface all this by saying that see if a very nice girl and means well but….I can’t bloody stand her. Not only does she look like Skelator, (I shouldn’t be able to trace every detail skull from 20 feet away) but she often sounds like a skeksis when engrossed at the computer. Now I know that I talk to myself when I am focused on a particularly difficult computer oriented task, so I don’t have that much room to complain but….at least I use actual words. I keep waiting for Jim Henson to pop out of the file cabinet and ask for a glass of water. For those of you who don’t know what a skeksis is, go watch The Dark Crystal and wait for the whiney humming that emits from giant rotting bird like creatures. Even the characters in the movie couldn’t stand listening to each other.

Chamberlain: Hmmmmm...
General: I hate your whimper!
Chamberlain: HMMMM!
[they proceed down the hallway]
Chamberlain: Hmmmmmmm-mmmmm...
General: QUIET!

EDIT: I found the video
I may be a little harsh on her but she just bugs the shit out of me. She has a doctorate in computer science with absolutely zero practical experience and constantly tries to use the academic approach without attempting to consider the urgent (read unrealistic) timelines that are set by executives. Explaining anything to this person has become a chore because she can’t seem to grasp what is being asked of her and constantly tries to dissect the request to better understand why she is being asked. She just can’t seem to understand how to operate in an office environment without inadvertently offending someone and/or making the team look foolish by asking questions that have either already been asked or have absolutely no bearing on the issue at hand.

Yes I know I am ranting and I apologize, to you….not her.