Monday, April 12, 2010

Good times, good times

What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas but some events deserve a brief summary to  be shared among friends. First of all let me offer a hearty Thank You to the gentlemen who set up this awesome night in Vegas full of drinking, laughter, drinking, gambling and drinking. Everyone had fun and stayed safe throughout the weekend, although there were reports of some people returning to the hotel Sunday morning with odors and spots on their clothes that they couldn’t (or refused) to explain.

All of us were quite toasty on Friday night and some were able to throw dice and yell “Lets go shoooteer!” well into the wee hours of the morning while others coughgroomcough were just as happy sitting at a video poker machine attempting to remain upright, concentrating on keeping his insides inside.

I have some final counts for you:
7 shot glasses, 5-6 drinkers, 1 bottle Red Breast Whisky, 1/3 bottle Bookers Bourbon, 1/3 bottle Cabo Wabo Tequila and that was just in the room. It does not include the countless shots of “Patron”, the many whisky highballs and mini water bottles consumed at the table delivered by mesh covered, bustiere clad women. Nor does it include the 3 bottles of very nice wine that we polished off at dinner.

There was also one notable moment that took place during breakfast on Saturday morning. Each of us had maybe 1.5-2 hours of sleep before the room became alive.* Breakfast at the buffet was decided upon as a way to help combat the party that was currently residing in each of their stomachs. Everybody ate sparingly barely able to finish a full plate before sitting back and refusing to look any food again, everybody but one. This gentleman has been known to eat….and eat….and eat which isn’t that amazing at first until you realize that this person cannot possibly weigh more than 100 lbs; maybe if he is soaking wet, wearing thick clothes and ankle weights. Let me recap what we witnessed:

-1 plate of shrimp (7-10)
-A bit of cheese
-Some Chinese noodles (kind of spicy)
-A pancake topped with some chocolate raspberry lava stuff that didn’t look like either chocolate or raspberry
-A few small slabs of ham
-Prim rib
-An omelet
-Another plate of shrimp
-A chocolate mousse cup containing 1 mini Oreo (which I stole)
-A small piece of chocolate cake
-Caramelized bananas on an ill conceived inverted plate
-A small piece of cake or pie (not really sure what is was)
-Another plate of shrimp
-2 Pepsis
That is all I can remember off the top of my head. I had originally tried to capture the entire list on a piece of paper, but alas it was lost. To top it all of this fine upstanding gentlemen felt inclined to get a picture with the chef on his way out and congratulate him on a job well done. Well done sir.

We all parted ways on Sunday afternoon with promises to do this again sometime in the future. As I was pulling out of the parking structure, I realized that my jacket was left hanging up in the closet with a good bit of money (what remained of my budget) left in the pocket. I quickly called the hotel and politely asked that they don’t clean the room just yet as I was in the process of turning around and heading back. It took 30 minutes to circle the ‘block’ and make my way back to the hotel entrance; gotta love the traffic on Vegas Blvd. during checkout time on Sunday. After being transferred thrice, I was given ‘clearance’ by a very important sounding man in the ‘towers’ to wait by the door for security to show up and let me back in. I was even stopped by that seemingly ineffectual man checking for key cards at the base of the elevators, at which point I had to produce my ID and recount my predicament so he could check in with said ‘tower’ to validate my story. Eventually I was reunited with my effects and was back on the road again, with everyone else. Six and half hours (took me 3 to get there), 3 movies audio only for safety (Beauty and the Beast, Hunchback of Notre Dam and Boondock Saints) chicken strips, curly fries, a bag of pistachios and half a bag of sunflower seeds later, I parked the car in my driveway, ready to return to my normal life.

*This room could be set up so that at a specific time of day the tv would turn on, the lights would illuminate and the curtains would open on their own flooding the room with painfully bright rays of sunshine, all controlled with a touch screen alarm clock.



  1. From and email:
    Very cool! I've got a Haiku to add. The weekend inspired me to poetry.

    Strings grind notes of g,
    How much for a friggin drink?!
    George rains, goodnite dawn

    That was just a taste of the early Sun Am activities.

    - Rey

  2. Each of one of you gentlemen contributed to the memory in my view:

    One gentlemen brought liquor to get us going in the room where I got to try a liquid refreshment that brought tears to my eyes, made me sweat and grew hair on my balls within seconds. I now know what gasoline tastes like as one exhales. This guy also wore a white robe in the morning like he was Hugh Hefner or Jesus, cold? I think not.

    A second gentlemen who is addicted to throwing dice was nice enough to buy everyone brunch Saturday morning. Only problem was nobody was able to eat the incredible spread, there was a lot of glaring at food vs. any actual eating. Thinking back to everyone sitting at a table not eating is quite hilarious. Still, we thank him for attempting to feed the group. He did redeem himself with a great recommendation for solid steaks and wine to go along. Props to the craps addict.

    The third gentlemen selected our room with automatic curtains and lighting. Great selection and we'll always give him a hard time for placing us on the towering 3rd floor. The roof view was awesome! Seriously though, great hotel choice. This guy ate enough at brunch to make it worth the bill and somehow had a photo with the Chef to prove it. We just hope one day he will weigh 100lbs so we can feel better about ourselves.

    A Fourth gentlemen aka "agua de pina" started my two day headache by supplying the patron shots at the tables to get the night shakin. The visual of his uncombed hair during night one was priceless and will stay with me for a long time. Something about his hair bouncing up and down as he stood right next to a CRAZY man yelling "Let's go shoota!!" about 400 times was quite comical.

    The Fifth gentlemen accompanied me on my flight in and joined me as I started the night with a little roulette. This guy also drank the liquid refreshment that burned a hole into our souls. So much so that he and his "friend" aka the restroom met about 6 times between the hours of 2am and 8am, one of which was at a location where people may have odd odors or spots. I don't imagine that particular restroom was a pleasant site... poor guy, but again priceless. Disclaimer: No odors or spots were detected on this group.

    A sixth gentlemen arrived Night 2 on a mission to celebrate a hard night in Vegas. He ate great food, drank gasoline with us, and somehow pissed off a nice young lady at a "party" because he was a gentlemen and did NOT wish to "dance" with her. What it must be like to be that pimp. He also managed to have fine young ladies where his hat at this "party", again, to be that pimp... This guy also managed to pull a Haiku out of his ass a couple days later.

  3. Rey added the best one liners from night 2 -
    Here are some quotes I recall from the weekend. I'll let you guess the location for each.

    - "that's a big piece of meat"
    - "we need to get boobs in that guy's face,now!"
    - "You can take off, she has a beagle..."
    - "Dang he just got bitch slapped!"
    - "Hey where's my hat?"
    - "You ruined my night, I'm just trying to make some money."
    - "ooooohhh, that burns"

    - Rey

  4. "Any of you ladies want a bite of my Laffy Taffy?"



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