Saturday, November 6, 2010

The Trials and Tribulations of Lock Picking

It began as simply as most other things.... something of my girlfriend's went missing from my room. It doesn't matter what it was, use your imagination (actually her glasses)..., but as it turns out my roommate had borrowed them from my room because she wanted to see how she looked with them on in a particular outfit... again, use your imagination.

It seemed odd to me that someone would go riffling through your room, without the expressed written consent of major league baseball and the like, take something from it, and not put it back. Especially, ESPECIALLY!! when that something belongs to a friend of the person who's room it happens to be. When she gave them back, gave that brief explanation, laughed and walked out of the room... needless to say my girlfriend and I were a bit nervous.

So it began, I started locking my room when I left the house.

I have nothing of value in the room (besides my computer and I am certain I would notice if she took that). I have nothing that I would miss or even recognize was gone but it was the principle of the matter that shook me most. There was generally nothing left in my room when I locked and left it until the day that I locked the door and left my keys on my desk (knowing that I had been thinking about giving my secondary key to my GF for safe keeping in case such an event were to occur).

So, two days I was locked out. The first day I stayed with the GF and didn't think much of it. The second day I began my research on what household items I would need to pick such a lock, what kind of lock it was, how many pins were in said lock, and if a genie would pop out if I rubbed the lock just right and got the door open.
I prepared myself; bypassed the morning meeting in order to craft my items from paperclips to tension wrenched made from the metal parts of file hangers. Different types and sizes I created, different weaknesses and strengths for each. I rated them all, gave them special powers, and my mage killed the ... wrong game, sorry.

I was ready.

I grabbed my gear, headed home, got to the door, and nearly fainted. The lock looked nothing like what I was looking at online. The angles were all wrong, the amount of room that was quoted necessary to achieve such a feat was simply not present. But I forged on in my quest for the freshly made bed, organized closet, and half eaten bowl of stale popcorn that I was sure lay just beyond the 3" door.
Two hours I tried to no avail. I managed to damage the lock fairly well in the process. We called a few locksmiths but they wanted 120 to 150 dollars to come and fix it.
I decided the best thing to do was get angry, irrational, and find a f***ing hammer. I debated for a while, whether I should do it. Eventually my roommate grabbed it and made the first dent in the polished chrome. I took the hammer, hit the lever a few more times.

Damn thing popped open... door open, lock fine, few dents on the handle, but it's replaceable. I spoke to a locksmith customer of mine that lives on the other side of the island and he said even if I broke it I probably saved myself about 80-90 dollars... Go figure.

In my opinion, the internets failed me on this one.



  1. You should have called the skinny neighbor kid over to crawl through the dog door and unlock it from the least that is how our neighbor handled being locked out while we were growing up.

  2. go online and buy yourself an illegal lock pick set. just dont get caught with it... ever!


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