Sunday, January 2, 2011

The cat ate my sandwich...

Truth be told, she knocked my napkin wrapped sandwich off the table to get at the sweet succulent ham that nestled between stone ground mustard laden bread slices….<Homer Simpson>mmmm…..laden bread slices</Homer Simpson>.

I was going through my morning routine, preparing my lunch that I will inevitably eat on my way to work, so I can take a nap at lunch, then a quick stop in the office to get my various handheld electronics attached to the tangle of dongles that take up residence on my desk. I emerged from the office excited to listen to the new Masters of None podcast when a scene of absolute horror presented itself to me. My sandwich was missing! Images of Homer Simpson frantically searching for a missing piece of bacon filled my mind as I quickly scanned the kitchen for my food. The sandwich had been knocked off the table and unwrapped during its tumble, resting in a heap of disjointed ingredients on the chair. The Pink Cat was under the chair in an odd position as if trying to hid something giving me a look that seem to say: “What? Everything is fine here, move along.” I swear she shifted her body to hide something and I may have seen a flash of her talons as I approached the suspect.

With gentle hands and a tear in my eye, I picked up the remains of my breakfast and attempted to reconstruct the piece of art that I had created just moments ago. That’s when I noticed that there was a piece missing. Upon further inspection of The Pink Cat, she was protecting a large piece of ham that had ‘fallen’ out my masterpiece as it tumbled to the chair. As I bent to pick up the stray piece, she quickly bit off a piece and attempted to sit on the errant slice as if to say: “Mine! I found this fair and square! It’s not my fault that you wrapped it snuggly in a napkin and placed it in the center of the table. It must have been a gust of wind that swept up the delicious package and tossed it off the table. Not my problem.”

Damn cats….

~Bibliotender

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