My coworker made a birthday list....

My coworker is turning mumblemumble1ish this week and sent out a gift request list to a few people:

Good Morning Everyone,
In keeping with our yearly tradition, here is a list of items that I want for my birthday.  Since there are five of you, I expect FIVE DIFFERENT GIFTS!   I'll still be surprised because I won't know which of the 10 gifts listed below I'll be getting.  Woo Hoo!
Gifts
1) Christian Louboutin Shoes - Italian size 27
2) Jimmy Choo Shoes - Size 7
3) Manolo Blahnik Shoes - Italian size 27
4) Stuart Weitzman's "Rita Hayworth" Stiletto's
5) Ferragamo Shoes - size 7
6) Chanel Handbag
7) Dolce Gabbana Handbag
8) Prada Handbag
9) Gucci Handbag
10) Louis Vuitton Handbag
Happy Birthday to me, happy birthday to me, happy birthday to meeeee (because it's always about ME), happy birthday to me!!!!!! 
P.S.
The above items are ALL located in Beverly Hills on Rodeo Drive.  So no excuse about shipping delays, just a hop, skip & jump away. lol

I couldn't let this go without comment and apparently my reputation preceeded me because one of the other recipients said she wanted to be copied on my reply well before I even finished reading the email. 

::Reply to All::

Ahem

For those of you who, like me, haven’t heard of any of these ‘designers,’ I offer a small guide to accompany the list that Princess R. McGorgeous (as I am contractually obligated to call her) has submitted.  I have to admit that I had to Google each of these names because some of them sound like exotic cars…

1)      Christian Louboutin Shoes - Italian size 27

Aka “Party Shoes” 

               

Most of what I found seem to have odd bows attached to the front, back and bottom of these ‘shoes.’  I’m sure that PRMcG will appreciate the time and effort that anyone puts into creating a handmade replica of this ‘designer.’ I suspect that any shoe will work, just add a 6 inch spike, and railroad spike should do just fine, and some leftover bows from Christmas and voila, a perfect Louboutin shoe with a personal touch.

2)      Jimmy Choo Shoes - Size 7

Aka “Hooker Shoes”

I swear I’ve seen these shoes featured in Pretty Woman, at least in the first 20 minutes or so….

Apparently these one are a little hard to get a hold of so it may be more economical to swing by the LAPD lost and found.  With a little luck we can find a matching pair.

3)      Manolo Blahnik Shoes - Italian size 27

I’m fairly certain that feet are not supposed to bend that way….it is possible that Ms. McGorgeous has damaged the nerve endings in her toes during all those intense training sessions with the unfortunate bag 616 and can no longer feel the pinching feeling that must be present while wearing these shoes

4)      Stuart Weitzman's "Rita Hayworth" Stiletto's

A steal at $3M a pair.  I’m pretty sure I have a pair of these in the trunk of my car next to my bottle of water, safety blanket and first aid kit. 

5)      Ferragamo Shoes - size 7

Umm…ok. I think I have a pair of these in my bowling bag.  I just need to spray them with some febreze and give them a good spit shine and we are in business.

 Handbags and I do not see eye to eyelet so there may be a bit of a bias associated with these descriptions.  I’ve always felt that they are completely unnecessary; anything that can’t fit in a wallet located in your back pocket shouldn’t be carried at all.  The handbag just gives women (and some men) an excuse to carry a bunch of stuff that they intend on losing at some point. 

6)      Chanel Handbag

Popular handbags are constantly being copied and sold to unsuspecting women who are only too eager to own a piece of fabric with a fashionable name printed on it.  When picking up a Chanel bag, don’t make the same mistake I did last year. Chanel only has 1 ‘n’ and there is never a number following the brand name.  I thought Bibliowife would be  happy to receive a number 7 Chanel bag thinking it was the 7^th and latest in the product line.  Apparently the news reporter look wasn’t one she was going for….

7)      Dolce Gabbana Handbag

Apparently there are thousands of styles available many of which have giant buckles that seem to be from leftover belts originally designed for Andre the Giant…

8)      Prada Handbag

Doesn’t the Devil wear Prada? I’m not comfortable searching for anything that may put my virginal soul in jeopardy.  Search at your own risk…

9)      Gucci Handbag

Not sure why this image came up when searching for Gucci Handbags but it may be a hint by Google showing the husbands what they have to sell in order to satisfy the wife’s Gucci obsession.

10)   Louis Vuitton Handbag

Michael: 

“That's a funny sort of bag. “

Mary Poppins: 

“Carpet. “

Michael: 

“You mean to carry carpets in? “

Mary Poppins: 

“No. Made of.”

                ‘Nuff said.

I have yet to receive a response...

~Bibliotender