MindlessChatter

I was trying to explain a concept to my co-worker yesterday.   At the same time I was browsing through my daily interweb readings and happened upon a picture of a baby holding a giant spoon.   Being easily distracted, I came up with the following analogy on the fly: Imagine a baby.   Now imagine a delicious bowl of fruit loops.   The baby wants the fruit loops but the bowl is at the other end of the table and he can't reach it.   The baby REALLY wants those loops of imitation fruit . You can see it in his eyes, there is a special glint that seems to say "I'm going to get that bowl and enjoy the hell out of those rings of fruity awesomeness. "   No matter how hard he tries, he can't reach the other end of the table.   He starts to pout, cries a little, screws up is face and generally just works himself into a frenzy trying to get what he can't have.    This behavior continues until someone comes along and provides a giant spoon.  ...

I was dutifully working on my tasks, idly listening to the music that my coworker so graciously plays from her 60's style handheld radio, when The Joker is queued up.   The following exchange of messages takes place. Captain AwesomePants: I've always loved peaches.... Stella : hhmm.... Stella : if it were anyone else making that comment I would have said, "me too! with yogurt its the best" but being that the comment came from you I'm on guard! Captain AwesomePants: chorus Stella : omg Captain AwesomePants: Did you think the girl was a peach farmer? Stella : i took it literally Captain AwesomePants: Steve Miller just happen to be roaming around the country side Stella : he wanted to shake her tree because she liked peaches!   maybe he was too short to pick them! I couldn't let this go so I sent the following: Captain AwesomePants: You are aware that Led Zeppelin wasn't actually talking about lemons when he told the girl to squeez...

Remember the ‘lady’ who sent me her birthday wish list? She sent me a list of Nine words that women use.   I responded in italics.     Lets just say it didn't go over well... NINE WORDS WOMEN don't know how to USE… (1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up. ~This is the goal of every argument.   Once "Fine!" is reached the man realizes that he has won and no further discussion is needed. "Right" is a relative term that women don't understand.... (2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house. ~Five minutes = Five minutes.   I refuse to accept any other reasoning.   If you need 30 minutes, tell us 30 minutes or better yet, tell us 43 minutes and we will be pleasantly surprised when you are actually finished in 50.   If men ...

My coworker is turning mumblemumble1ish this week and sent out a gift request list to a few people: Good Morning Everyone, In keeping with our yearly tradition, here is a list of items that I want for my birthday.  Since there are five of you, I expect FIVE DIFFERENT GIFTS!   I'll still be surprised because I won't know which of the 10 gifts listed below I'll be getting.  Woo Hoo! Gifts 1) Christian Louboutin Shoes - Italian size 27 2) Jimmy Choo Shoes - Size 7 3) Manolo Blahnik Shoes - Italian size 27 4) Stuart Weitzman's "Rita Hayworth" Stiletto's 5) Ferragamo Shoes - size 7 6) Chanel Handbag 7) Dolce Gabbana Handbag 8) Prada Handbag 9) Gucci Handbag 10) Louis Vuitton Handbag Happy Birthday to me, happy birthday to me, happy birthday to meeeee (because it's always about ME), happy birthday to me!!!!!!  P.S. The above items are ALL located in Beverly Hills on Rodeo Drive.  So no excuse about shipping delays, just a hop, skip ...