MindlessChatter

As I type this out, I am sitting in a training room with 15 other lucky people in a training class lead by someone that shouldn’t be allowed to mold our brains. To his credit, this gentleman knows the application extremely well and has obviously coded some of the modules himself. The problem is translating that knowledge to a bunch of people who only care about the buttons they need to push to get the job done. They don’t care how the algorithm works and why it’s awesome that the function looks through 5 different tables and uses a decision tree to derive the correct value and the surely don’t need to know how each branch of the decision tree works. He may be very good at speaking to the content one on one but when he gets up in front of an audience, all his oratory skills go out the window. My favorite so far has been staring at the floor or a piece of paper while explaining how a function works. My eyes even traveled to the floor to see what he was looking at in hopes that I would ...

A song starts with a familiar intro; you start to bob your head and a smile creeps onto your face. Maybe you start your special dance moves that you normally reserve for this song. Your excitement builds as the opening lyrics present themselves on the tip of your tongue and you prepare to belt them out while launching into your rhythmic gyrations; oops….you started singing a bit to early, the words start on the next down beat…wait for it….you take a deep breath, prepared to finish off the entire first verse with one breath in sync with your masterful hip thrusts. Then it happens; these aren’t the lyrics you remember; you’ve been duped; this is completely different song that samples the music of your favorite song. “What the fuck is this?” you scream as your body is thrown off rhythm temporarily. Your body automagically adjusts to your default dance moves while your brain furiously attempts to process what went wrong. This happened to our Father this weekend during a wedding reception...

If you have ever wondered why the dad doesn’t get a baby shower or gifts, keep in mind that not all of the products that the new mother receives will be solely used by the infant. The new father will quickly become very familiar with items like: Baby Bottle Brushes . New mom will only do the first few weeks, then the lovely job of trying to get the fermenting milk out of the corners of that damn plastic hexagon shaped liquid container will be passed onto the one man with the patients to handle the task. Seat Savers . Savers? Ha! I have seen many of these over the years and I have yet to see one saved seat. Oh sure, I have seen a few that managed to protect the fine fabric from a minor (read – less than four drops) spill. But I have yet to witness a seat that that didn’t get cereal crumbs, cookie fragments and sticky somethings wedged under the protector and continually ground into the plush ass cushion. I will say that I do take particular pleasure on those days when we need to rem...

so i went to this new place to eat today. i would love to tell you all about it. like where it was , the name how expensive it was the quality of the food, service... ect. but i cant because someone still doesnt have their website / blog thing working yet.... SO IM WAITING BAHHHHHHHH!!!

Filet Mignon = Fantastic mouth watering beef (that's what she said) Filet o Fish = A religious alternative to the big mac Filet o Finger = Ouch! Fun fact: zip ties will cut if you are stupid enough to attempt to break it with your bare hands. I tried to rip off a zip tie from Bibliochild1's new bike when I quickly realized that I couldn't do so. Whilst searching for something to cut the offending piece of plastic, I noticed that there was a little bit of blood accompanying the stinging that was present in the crease of my finger. “hmmm” thought I. “I should probably clean that” So I did the first thing that any red blooded male would do, stuck the finger in my mouth. “Son of a.....! Maybe I should clean it properly.” So I head to the hose and pour water over the wounded area, washing off the blood and looking for the cut. That is when I noticed that there was a largish flap of skin that was bleeding quite profusely. Owwww.

I used to have this posted up in the bar until a little manager (who bears a remarkable resemblance to Short Round ) took it down. I believe it is time to post it up again and highlight a few. The 86 Rules to Boozing (stolen from here ) 1. If you owe someone money, always pay them back in a bar. Preferably during happy hour. 2. Always toast before doing a shot. 3. Whoever buys the shot gets the first chance to offer a toast. 4. Change your toast at least once a month. 5. Buying someone a drink is five times better than a handshake. 6. Buying a strange woman a drink is still cool. Buying all her drinks is dumb. 7. Never borrow more than one cigarette from the same person in one night. 8. When the bartender is slammed, resist the powerful urge to order a slightly-dirty, very-dry, in-and-out, super-chilled half-and-half martini with a lemon twist. Limit orders to beer, straight shots and two-part cocktails. 9. Get the bartender's attention with eye contact and a s...

i know i promises not to blog about the blog anymore but  it  thought that maybee one of you could figure out how to change something for me. i has been pissing me off for some time and i cant find the parameter to change. every time you click on a link it takes to that website and you are no longer in the blog site. is there a way to get it to open a new page when we click on a site.?