MindlessChatter

First let me apologize preemptively, J is a really nice guy, he means well, and past injuries combined with medical issues may have led to the current situation. Be that as it may, talking to him can be a bit of a challenge.   In a single conversation, he was somehow able to include: Flying cars and why can we have them Chinese cup therapy Ooo look at that explosion (news) Walking from elementary school to middle school Why can't they convert cars to use veg oil or natural gas, he knew a guy who had a car like that, it didn't make any pollution I've collected a few tidbits over the past couple of months.   Most of these are taken out of context, but to be fair most were never in context to begin with. Pointing at the tv: "what did they do? Put it on pets?" "I had chicken pox a bunch of times… then my family got a nice Mexican family and they had small pox…." "I had the same suit as ...

From time to time it is necessary to repair a household item.   Usually this is due to one of the children and a projectile that was ….projected within the confines of a small room.   Often times items just wear out and need replacing and the job of Mr. Fixit usually falls into my lap.   Unfortunately, we in my family seem to suffer from some sort of affliction that causes repairs to take longer than normally necessary.   The extra time can be attributed to a second trip to the hardware store to fix the replacement part that broke during installation.   This same pattern was displayed during my most recent repair man duties.   The toilet was leaking from under the tank.   My initial expert opinion led me to believe that the water line needed to be replaced.   Cue trip 1 to the hardware store.   10 minutes after returning home I had the line replaced, the floor dry and was about to enjoy a quite afternoon relaxing on the couch; alas ...

Bill Cosby once said "Kids say the darndest things." As a father of 3 children that routinely refrain from remaining r...silent. I've noticed a few categories: The crying babble THUNK! "AGGGHGHHHH!!!" Thump thump thuMP THUMP THUMP THUMP The child comes sprinting in to   the room trying to make as much noise as possible in an effort to demonstrate how injured he is. He pulls on your sleeve while donning the perfect injured face and starts to hyperventilate as he tries to tell you the story of the worst injury and injustice of all time. BC2: "DAD!!! Bibliochild1 hit me!! Itoldhimnottothrowthetoyandhedidn'tlistensoItriedtotakeitfromhimandbesafeandthenhehitme" #GASP D: "Calm down and tell me what happened." BC2: "I didn't do anything and Bibliochild1 hit me!" D: "You didn't do anything?" BC2: "No!   I was just trying to take the toy away so he didn't throw it" D: "...

I was trying to explain a concept to my co-worker yesterday.   At the same time I was browsing through my daily interweb readings and happened upon a picture of a baby holding a giant spoon.   Being easily distracted, I came up with the following analogy on the fly: Imagine a baby.   Now imagine a delicious bowl of fruit loops.   The baby wants the fruit loops but the bowl is at the other end of the table and he can't reach it.   The baby REALLY wants those loops of imitation fruit . You can see it in his eyes, there is a special glint that seems to say "I'm going to get that bowl and enjoy the hell out of those rings of fruity awesomeness. "   No matter how hard he tries, he can't reach the other end of the table.   He starts to pout, cries a little, screws up is face and generally just works himself into a frenzy trying to get what he can't have.    This behavior continues until someone comes along and provides a giant spoon.  ...

People sometimes ask what my brothers and I talk about.  I've often said that it really isn't that interesting and taken out of context doesn't make much sense at all.  For example Capnt Punc: I'm the other brother FCJ: We call him the OB DoubleDTender: The ob? Bibliotender: Yea, OB and this is GY.  They call me N DoubleDTender: Why N? Bibliotender: OB,GY,N DoubleDTender: I don't get it…. … She didn't get it and we were giggling too hard to try and explain.  Sure it doesn't make sense, but it almost follows a logical pattern.  There are some nights where we find ourselves deep into  a conversation and have no idea how we got there.   During these frequent moments we usually try to bring someone else into the conversation, usually leading to their great confusion.  Sometimes a person's stupidity (or ignorance as the case may be) can be what sets us off.  We don't mean to hurt anyone's feelings but there are t...

I was dutifully working on my tasks, idly listening to the music that my coworker so graciously plays from her 60's style handheld radio, when The Joker is queued up.   The following exchange of messages takes place. Captain AwesomePants: I've always loved peaches.... Stella : hhmm.... Stella : if it were anyone else making that comment I would have said, "me too! with yogurt its the best" but being that the comment came from you I'm on guard! Captain AwesomePants: chorus Stella : omg Captain AwesomePants: Did you think the girl was a peach farmer? Stella : i took it literally Captain AwesomePants: Steve Miller just happen to be roaming around the country side Stella : he wanted to shake her tree because she liked peaches!   maybe he was too short to pick them! I couldn't let this go so I sent the following: Captain AwesomePants: You are aware that Led Zeppelin wasn't actually talking about lemons when he told the girl to squeez...

This is a guest post... Nothing helps.   I cry less than at first.   It's been a year, shouldn't something change? I know crying won't bring him back…stupid to think that it would.   I can't help it. Most days I can deal.   I make my to do list and move. I don't necessarily move in the direction that I planned, but I plan. Where is my list? I don't know but I stay busy. I still cry.   I cry a lot in my car.   Especially when the music is playing.   I don't even drive far. Moving on with my life and keeping busy...   Is that dealing?   I don't feel any different. I am just more busy, sometimes. Many things I do while I'm "busy" are the same things I did when he was here.   He didn't do the busy stuff.   He did the projects and fix-its and the building and many of the "together things" like driving and helping and leading. It's the alone times, like now, that make me cry.   I didn't plan it…it ...

As some of you may know, I work for a bank. We have some fairly strict guidelines for our branch opening procedures, when and if one can be in our parking lot in the morning (mainly for safety reasons). One of our rules involves not entering the location until a designated person has completed a walk-through of the branch and putting up an "all clear" signal. Because of this, and the fact that I usually arrive 30-45 minutes early to beat traffic and in case of traffic, I tend to park in the parking lot next door and listen to the radio, eat my breakfast, talk to myself, surf the internet, etc... This has become a routine for the past months and until now I have not come across any issues from anyone. Today was a little bit different... After being parked for ~20 minutes, eating my breakfast, and listening to the radio, I turn on my car to drive over to my parking lot (assuming the branch should be open by now). AS I put my car in reverse a white mid 90s SUV pulls up behin...